


When You Startin' To Forget Just Who You Are

by Lexys23



Series: He Saved Me [2]
Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Attempted Murder, Attempted Suicide, Character Deaths, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Self-Harm, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 40,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15950846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexys23/pseuds/Lexys23
Summary: Erin starts getting strange phone calls. When she goes missing, Voight will do anything to find her. Her kidnapper is someone from her past. Voight and the team must find her before her kidnapper does enough damage to destroy Erin.





	1. Answer The God Damn Phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written before Bunny and Teddy Became Cannon.
> 
> Story Title: What It Is by Kodaline  
> Chapter Title: The Phone Song (Vibrating) by JJ Demon

 

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

Erin groaned as her phone rang. She looked at the time and it was three forty-seven in the morning. She grabbed her phone and saw an unknown number. She hit the green button and pressed the phone against her ear.

“Hello?” Erin asked, sleepily.

There was no response in the other side.

“Hello?” she asked again, slightly annoyed. When she got no response, she hung up the phone.

She tossed the phone on the nightstand and turned so her back was to the phone.

She tried to go to sleep, but the phone call was bugging her. Not a lot of people had her number. After she got into the intelligence group, she changed had her number.

**Chicago PD**

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

Erin saw the same unfamiliar number. She answered the phone and again, she got no response. She stared at the phone. It was the fourth call in that day, and it ended the same. She was so sure she didn’t know the number. That number had never called her before.

**Chicago PD**

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

It was the same number. She was in the car with Jay. They were going to a drug bust, and the calling hadn’t stopped.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Jay asked, frowning as the phone rang.

“No,” Erin answered, as she stared at the road ahead.

“Why?” he asked, noticing Erin’s weird behavior.

“Why not?” she asked him, not taking a look at him. “Leave it.”

Jay didn’t say anything, as he stared at her.

**Chicago PD**

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

It was two in the morning, and Erin had had enough. She grabbed the phone and pressed the green number.

“Leave me alone!” she snapped, as she glared at the darkness in front of her.

The person on the other side chuckled. Fear paralyzed Erin; she did not recognize the voice. “ _ How’s daddy dearest? _ ” the voice asked.

She knew whom the man was asking about. She knew Voight had a lot of enemies. She knew they were willing to do anything to get to him, and her connect with him could put her in danger, but she never believed it would happen.

“Stop calling me,” she told the man, knowing it was a weak attempt.

The man laughed again. “ _ Goodnight Erin, see you soon. _ ”

He hung up, but Erin sat there, the phone against her ear.  _ See you soon _ , she didn’t know what he meant by that. She didn’t know who that person was. She didn’t want to tell Voight. She knew if she told him, he would become overly protective, and she didn’t want that. She wanted to deal with it herself. She lay back down and stared at the ceiling. She didn’t want to fall asleep. Not when the man knew who she was.

**Chicago PD**

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

Erin shot up from her bed, slightly afraid. She grabbed her phone, and sighed in relief when she noticed it was just her alarm. Her head was pounding from the stress. She got out of bed to get ready for the day. The day that was going to be horrible, she already knew it. She didn’t realize when she fell asleep, but she knew it was late.

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

Erin saw her phone lighting up. She knew it wasn’t her alarm, not this time. She sighed, as she looked around. She was alone in her bedroom. She knew she didn’t need to be afraid. She knew she could protect herself. Hank Voight raised her for thirteen years.

She yanked her phone from the table and answered it. “ _ Leave me the hell alone! _ ” she exclaimed, having enough.

“ _ Erin, _ ” Jay asked, confused.

Erin frowned, and rubbed her eyes. She was so sure it was a man. “Sorry,” she whispered.

“ _ Are you alright? _ ” he asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep last night. Look, I got to go to work. See you at work,” she told him. She hung up, not giving him a chance to answer. 

She stared at the phone. She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself down. She walked to the restroom to straighten herself up before she went to work.

**Chicago PD**

Erin didn’t get a phone call that day. She was slowly getting rid of her paranoia. She handled her work, she was going back to normal. Everything seemed fine. She felt relaxed, although it wasn’t going to stay like that. She had to take it while it lasted. 

She went home after a few drinks with her friends. She got ready to go to bed, slightly forgetting about the phone calls. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

**Chicago PD**

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

_ Ring…. _

Erin groaned, as she stretched her arm out to get her phone. She looked at the time and it was three forty-seven in the morning. She answered, sleep fogging up her common sense.

“ _ Hello, sweetie _ ,” the unfamiliar voice told her.

Any sleepiness she felt quickly went away. There were two voices she heard, one in the phone, and the other in the room. She looked around and couldn’t see anything it was too dark. She sat up, and felt someone cover her mouth and wrap their arm around her throat, cutting of the air. She struggled. She tried to fight back, but her oxygen wasn’t circulating. She scratched the arm, trying to hurt him so he would let go and she could fight back, but he didn’t let go. The more she fought, the harder the grip became. Soon, she lost consciousness. Her body slumped against him.

**Chicago PD**

_ He watched her. She was a child, barely three years old. She was laughing as her mother pushed her on the swing. There was a small smile on his face as he watched her. He looked around and saw many people there. There were many kids. There were so many little kids, but no one noticed him. No one cared he was there. He just sat there, smiling, as he watched her, laughing, begging for her mom to push her higher. He watched. _

 


	2. And Now You’ve Disappeared Somewhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Missing by Everything But The Girl

 

It was a new day at work. Voight stared at the empty chair. He sat back. He knew he didn’t need to worry. He knew Lindsay could protect herself. He checked the time, and noticed it was half passed the time she usually arrived. He stood up and walked to the men in his intelligence group.

“Have any of you guys heard from Erin?” he asked, as he looked at all the men.

One by one, each shook their head. Voight frowned, as he felt something was wrong. If she wasn’t going to work that day, she would have contacted someone, but she hadn’t and Voight was slightly worried. He went to his office and started to call her. 

“Come on Erin, answer the phone,” he whispered, as he pressed the phone against his ear. After a few rings, it went to voicemail. He tried again, and got the same response.

Voight left his office and headed to Erin’s apartment. He knocked on the door, and got no response. He waited, in case Erin was sleeping. He knocked again, and waited a few seconds before kicking the door open. The inside looked normal, like it usually looked.

He stormed into her room. No one was there. He looked around to see what was going on. The bed was a mess; the comforters and blankets were on the ground. Her phone was in the middle of her bed. He walked to her nightstand and opened the cabinet. Her gun and badge were still there.

Voight grabbed the phone and turned it on. There were missed calls, some from him, others from Halstead. He checked the calls in her phone, and noticed an unknown number.  He pocketed the phone.

**Chicago PD**

Erin groaned, as she slowly opened her eyes. Her throat was in pain, and her head was pounding. She tried to move her hands, but she couldn’t move her arms. She looked down to see why. She was on a chair with her hands were tied behind her back, and her ankles were tied together. She struggled to get out. She started to move her wrists to loosen the knots.

She bit her lip as she concentrated. She moaned as the rope started to chafe on her wrists. She stopped when she heard the doorknob started to turn. She looked at the door. She waited, to know who took her, who was calling her.

The door opened and a man entered with a woman. The man looked to be in forties. He had dark hair and brown eyes. The woman looked about his age, with blond hair and green eyes.

Erin frowned as she started at them. She did not know who they were. She hadn’t seen them before, not that she remembered.

“Erin, you have grown so much,” he told her. The woman smiled next to him.

Erin frowned. She struggled to get out, trying to get away from the people. She wanted to protect herself.

“Don’t you remember me?” he asked, his voice laced with disappointment. The woman grabbed his hand and kissed his cheek, as it too consult him.

Erin didn’t answer him. She decided to ignore them and tried to get rid of the knot. She wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of her fear. She didn’t want them to think they had any power over her.

“Listen to him you little bitch,” the woman sneered, grabbing Erin chin and making her look at the man.

Erin looked at them, glared, but didn’t say anything. She also continued to her attempt of loosening the rope.

The man laughed, while the woman looked at Erin with disgust. Erin showed no emotion. The woman was getting frustrated, while the man smirked at her.

Erin was so confused. She didn’t know them. She didn’t know why they wanted her. But they seemed to know her.

“Ungrateful bitch,” the woman muttered, as she folded her arms across her chest. Erin knew the woman wanted to slap her, but she was refraining to do so. Erin didn’t know why.

“Erin, do you remember us?” the man asked again, kneeling in front of her.

Erin stared at him, not saying anything. She wasn’t going to. She just turned to have a good look at the room. There was nothing in the room, except a bucket, a table, the chair she was on, and a door. There was no window. That wasn’t good for Erin. She tried to see if she remembered anything, but she had blacked out the whole time.

Her head snapped to the left. She was disoriented, unsure what had happened. Her right cheek stung. That’s when she realized what had happened. The woman had had enough and slapped Erin. The brunette had to admit it hurt.

“I’m not going to say it again, don’t ignore him bitch,” she ordered, her body shaking with anger.

“I don’t know who you are,” Erin said, finally saying something, as she glared hatefully at the blond woman.

“That’s too bad,” the man said, sadness in his voice. “We’ll just have to make you remember.”

Erin stared that them leave, with confusing and a bit of fear in her eyes. She struggled harder when the door closed.

**Chicago PD**

“We are not resting until we find her,” Voight ordered his team. All the men nodded as they started to search for a lead.

Voight had given Sheldon Jin Erin’s phone and asked him to find out who the unknown number was.

Dawson watched, as Voight get frustrated. He knew how Voight felt. He knew about the anger, the fear, the frustration the one felt when their child was taken. He knew, second hand of the relationship between Voight and Lindsay, after she told him about their history.

Voight went to his office and sat on his desk. His mind was racing. He was thinking of many possible scenarios that could be happening to Erin. He put his head on his hands as he tried to think of anyone who would go after her to get to him.

Jin walked onto the floor and waited until Voight exited his office to tell them the news. “I got a name.”

**Chicago PD**

_ He watched as Erin and her mother went for a walk. _

_ “She’s so cute,” a blond woman said, as she bent down to be closer to Erin. _

_ Erin giggled as she hid behind her mother. “Sorry, she’s a little shy,” Caroline told the woman, with a small smile on her face. “Erin, can you say hi to the nice lady.” _

_ “Hi,” Erin whispered, as she grabbed her mother’s pants. Caroline smiled at the woman. Erin and her mother walked to an ice cream parlor. _

_ The woman stood up and saw him. She frowned and walked away. He smirked and turned to Erin and her mother. _

 


	3. The World Grows Dark Around You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Those You’ve Known by John Galleghe, Jr., Lea Michele, and Jonathan Groff (From the Broadway show Spring Awakening)

 

“Emilio Palmer,” Jin told the men. They all looked at their tech expert. He showed the team a picture of a man. He had brown hair, and blue eyes. He looked to be in his thirties., a few years older than Erin. Voight studied the picture. He did not know that name. He had never heard it before. He had never seen the man before.

“I want all of you to find everything you can about him. Find what he would want with Erin, and who he could be working with or for,” Voight ordered the team. “Antonio, come with me.”

“Where are we going?” Dawson asked, as he grabbed his stuff together and followed his leader.

“We’re going to visit someone who may know who might want Erin,” Voight answered, as he stormed through the building.

Dawson nodded. He sat on the passenger seat and stared at the window as Voight sped to a certain destination. Before Dawson knew it, they had arrived at an apartment.

“Where are we?” Dawson asked, as he looked around. The area was run-down. The building seemed to be old, and in bad condition.

“This is where Erin grew up. We’re going to pay her mother a visit,” he told the other man.

Dawson stared at the area he was in. He was going to meet the woman who screwed Erin up. Hopefully, she would help them in their search.

**Chicago PD**

The door opened, and the woman entered alone. Erin felt fear run through her veins, although she did not show it. She kept an eye on the woman, ready for her to strike.

“He told me to  _ make _ you remember, however I want,” she told the younger woman. The blond had an evil glint in her eyes. Erin knew she was going to enjoy it. “You’ve met us, numerous of times. You’re just blocking it out. It’s  _ my _ job to make you remember it.”

“I don’t know who you are,” Erin told the woman. “I don’t even know your name.”

The woman laughed. She walked around Erin, inspecting her. Erin knew she woman was looking for a way to hurt her.

“Let me go,” Erin ordered, struggling on the chair.

The woman ran her long nails on Erin’s face. Erin could feel the sharpness against the nerves of her skin. She knew the woman, whatever her name was, could easily draw blood with her nails, and Erin was slightly worried about it.

“How’s your  _ daddy _ ?” she asked, a wicked smile on her face.

Erin frowned. She didn’t know what Voight had to do with it.

“What do you think he’ll like best, water boarding, knife play, a simple beating?” the woman questioned, mostly to herself, but her smile growing as Erin paled.

“Who are you?” Erin asked, frustration lacing in her voice.

“Sarah Palmer,” the woman told Erin, rolling her eyes. She grinned as she moved in front of Erin and grabbed her chin. She, harshly, turned her head to the left. Sarah inspected Erin’s red cheek. “Should I make both cheeks the same color?”

Erin moved her head from her and glared at the blond.

“The best way for you to remember is to pressure you. I am going to enjoy this,” Sarah told Erin, with a sadistic smile on her face.

**Chicago PD**

“You don’t know who this man is?” Dawson asked Caroline Lindsay. Caroline shook her head. She kept an eye on the picture, but she was so sure she did not know who that person was.

“I don’t know who he is, but he looks familiar. Maybe someone who is related to him,” Caroline told the two men. “But why are you asking me?”

“Caroline,” Voight said softly, “Erin is missing. We believe this man is involved.”

The woman looked at him, her eyes filling with tears. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. She was finally connecting with her daughter. They were becoming mother and daughter, and now her daughter was missing.

“N-no, this is a joke,” she whispered to herself. She looked at the ground. She was slowly shaking her head, as if she was imagining the men there.

Dawson stared at the woman. She was the one who led Erin to a dark road. She was the one who led Erin to Voight. She could be the ultimate reason why Erin was missing. But he had to give her the benefit of the doubt.

“We’ll find her. I promise we’ll find her,” Voight told the woman, his voice low and soft.

“You love her, don’t you?” Caroline asked the man who was her daughter’s guardian.

“As if she were my own,” Voight answered truthfully, his holding nothing but adoration to the missing woman. “I’ll bring her home.”

**Chicago PD**

Erin started coughing out water. Sarah wasn’t kidding about hurting her. They were in the restroom, with Erin in the bathtub, her wrists tied together and her ankles also tied together. The water had submerged her body, minus her head. Sarah’s hand was tangled in Erin’s hair, like a leach. Sarah would hold Erin’s head under the water. Erin couldn’t do anything but try to save her breath.

“The faster you remember, the quicker we stop this. Not that I want to stop. This is fun,” she said, a laugh in her voice. She didn’t give Erin a chance to take a breath, before dunking her head in the water.

Erin accidentally inhaled water. She started to struggle, as she couldn’t breath. Slowly, she started to lose consciousness. Sarah pulled her head up before Erin could completely black out. Once she surfaced, she started to cough out the water.

“Do you remember?” Sarah asked, glaring at the younger woman.

“No,” Erin breathed, her throat raspy from the coughing.

Sarah screamed in frustration. She yanked Erin out of the tub. It wasn’t graceful. The tub, full of water, and the floor were all slippery. Erin slipped and slammed her head to the toilet.

**Chicago PD**

“Emilio Palmer has a sister. Her name is Sarah Palmer. From what I gathered, Emilio couldn’t have called Erin,” Jin told the other men.

“Why?” Dawson asked, looking at the sister’s picture.

“Emilio was killed two years ago,” Halstead added, posting up a picture of the article.

“Who killed him?” Dawson asked, trying to see a connection.

“The killer wasn’t found, but the prime suspect was Sarah’s husband,” Jin continued.

**Chicago PD**

_ Emilio was watching his sister talk to a man. He didn’t like the man. The man was changing his sister. Sarah was turning into someone he didn’t know. Sarah was all he had left, and he had to protect her and keep her close to him. The man was separating them. _

_ “Sarah, lets go,” Emilio exclaimed, as he signaled for his sister to hurry up. _

_ Sarah and the man walked to him. Emilio didn’t like the look the man had. He watched as the man picked up a gun and shot him. _

_ The man smiled wickedly as he watched the blood escape Emilio’s head. He wrapped his arm around Sarah’s shoulders as she snuggled into him. He kissed her head and tucked the gun away. They turned and walked away. _


	4. Well, Hope Is All I’ve Got, Hope That You’re Not Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Vila Rada by Nikola Sarcevic

 

“What do we know about the husband? Can we contact Sarah?” Voight asked, looking at the papers on the wall and his hand.

“No. A few years ago, they just disappeared. There is nothing on them,” Jin answered.

Voight, frustrated and angry, brought his fist down to the table in front of him. The other men jumped when his fist and the table connected.

Dawson stood up and signaled for Voight to meet them in the small office. Dawson told the other men to continue searching. Once in the room, Voight sat down at his desk, waiting for Dawson to speak.

“We’ll find her,” he told his boss, trying to keep the other man from blowing up on the team. Dawson remembered wanting to hurt his team when Diego was missing. He remembered snapping at Lindsay when she lost Ernesto Milpas. He knew she had gotten hurt; a pipe to the head, but nothing mattered. He knew it was different for Voight, the same, but different in a way. He knew how Voight felt; he could connect with the emotions. “She’s going to be okay,” he whispered.

Voight rubbed his eyes. “She’s tough,” he said, agreeing.

**Chicago PD**

Erin moaned. Her head felt like it was going to burst. She remembered Sarah trying to drown her, then nothing. Slowly, she opened her eyes. Her vision was slightly blurry, but she knew she was back in the room, tied to the chair. Her stomach was growling. She hadn’t eaten in hours. She didn’t know how long she was missing. She wondered if Voight had figured out she was missing. She wondered if he knew who took her. She didn’t know, she couldn’t remember anyone.

She looked at the door, expecting someone to enter the room. Her vision was going back to normal.

She wanted to know why she was kidnapped. The man and Sarah knew who she was, but she didn’t know who they were.

**Chicago PD**

“Who is this man?” Dawson asked, as Voight drove to an address they had gotten.

“Someone who may have known Emilio Palmer. He was the last person to have contact with Sarah before she disappeared,” Voight answered, as he parked in front of a house. Both men exited the car. They walked to the door and knocked on it.

A man, in his late twenties opened the door and looked at them. “How may I help you?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He had hazel eyes, and dirty brown hair.

“We need to speak to you. We are from the CPD,” Dawson told him, showing him his badge.

“May I ask about what?” he asked the two men.

“Ethan Larson, we came to ask you about Sarah Palmer,” Voight said, studying the man.

Ethan watched them, as he moved to let them go into the house.

**Chicago PD**

“How are you?” the man asked, as he walked into the room. He had a chair and bag with him. He moved the chair so it was in front of her. She kept an eye on him, not sure what was in the bag.

“Considering I was kidnapped, drowned, and my head smashed on the toilet, I just peachy,” she said, sarcastically.

The man said nothing. He sat down in front of her. He opened the bag and the aroma of food filled the room. Erin’s mouth watered, and her stomach growled. He opened the takeout box. He opened it and she could practically taste the sandwich and fries that were in the box.  He cut a small piece from the sandwich and brought it up to Erin’s mouth, expecting her to eat it.

She looked at him, as if saying,  _ seriously _ . He gave her a small smile.

“Its just food. There is nothing wrong with you. We don’t want you to be seriously hurt,” he told her, as he ate the piece to show her there was nothing wrong.

“You should tell that to your girlfriend,” she spat, annoyed.

“She’s my wife,” he told her, as he brought another piece to her face.

She stared at him. She didn’t want to be fed, or for him to be there. But that might be the only time she’ll eat in a while, and she needed her strength if she was going to fight back. She took the piece with her teeth and slowly chewed, glaring at him.

**Chicago PD**

“I haven’t seen her in years,” Ethan answered, sitting across the two detectives.

“And her husband? Do you know who he is?” Dawson asked the boy.

“Some dude named Colton,” Ethan answered, thinking about who it was.

“Colton,” Voight whispered to himself, to see if it was familiar. It didn’t ring any bells.

“Do you know where we can find him?” Voight asked, looking at the young man’s eyes.

Ethan shook his head no.

Voight and Dawson stood up. They started to walk away. Voight turned around and grabbed Ethan by the collar of his shirt and pressed him against the wall.

“I’ve I find out you’re lying, I will make you regret it,” he threatened, tightening his grip.

Ethan nodded, frightened by the man in front of her.

Voight let him go, and walked away with Dawson behind him.

Once outside, Voight kicked the tire of the car. “We’re getting no where,” he snapped, having the urge to punch something.

Dawson didn’t say anything. He was getting frustrated as well. The whole team was getting frustrated. It had been two days since they started the search for Erin, and all they got were names. The names weren’t much help either.

**Chicago PD**

Sarah walked into the room and smiled evilly at Erin. Erin had just finished eating, and the man had left.

“We’re going to make you remember. I can promise you that. You will remember who we are. And you will be grateful to know who we are,” Sarah told the younger woman.

“You have the wrong person. You’ll pay for what you’re doing!” Erin exclaimed, struggling with the rope.

“Not when you find out who we are,” the older woman answered, smugly. “Sadly, you can’t be conscious.”

“Wait what?” Erin asked, her eyes wide. Sarah walked to her and stood behind her. She wrapped her arm around Erin’s neck, and covered her mouth and nose.

Erin tried to move her head, but Sarah wouldn’t let her move her head. Slowly, Erin stopped struggling. Her body slumped against the chair.

Sarah released Erin and left to call her husband. She left the door wide opened, knowing Erin wouldn’t be able to leave. She laughed as she walked away.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin was waiting for her mother with the teacher watching the students as their parents picked them up. Erin was sitting on steps. She had a notebook on her lap, and was drawing in it. She was biting her lip, as she concentrated on her drawing. She looked up when someone stood over her. She smiled at her mother. _

_ He had a smirk on his face. He watched Erin walked into her mother’s car and put her seatbelt on. He turned and walked to his house. _

 


	5. Like I’m Standing In a Lightning Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The Search by Setting Fire

**** Voight was becoming more frustrated as the hours passed. Caroline was worried, Dawson was working harder, Halstead was working just as hard as Dawson. Olinsky and Ruzek were usually out, looking for a hint, any hint that could lead them to Erin, or her kidnappers.

Their floor was silent. All the detectives were working, searching for clues. Which is why they all jumped when they heard something crash to a wall. They all turned an saw Voight’s phone on the floor.

“We’ll find her,” Dawson told him, as he slowly stood up. He didn’t want the other man to lash out. 

Voight turned to him, but didn’t respond. He was worried. He hadn’t been this worried in a while. He didn’t know what Sarah and Colton, if that was who had kidnapped, were doing to her. He  _ needed _ to find out why she was taken. He  _ needed _ to know if he had a reason to her kidnapping.

Dawson looked at his computer. He was for the Colton’s in Chicago.

Halstead was looking through what they had of Sarah’s history. Places she had been; anything that might involve Erin. Sarah Palmer had a lot of history, and Halstead didn’t have a lot of time to look though everything.

**Chicago PD**

Erin groaned. She was starting to get annoyed of these people always causing her to lose consciousness.

She had a frown, when she realized she wasn’t sitting down. Her ankles were tied to the legs of the table she was laying down on. Her torso was strapped down, as were her wrists. The only things she could move were her toes, fingers, and head.

She tried to loosen the straps. She was getting frustrated. She didn’t know how much she could deal with the kidnapping. She stared at the ceiling, wondering if she should just give up.

**Chicago PD**

Thomas Holland was in ‘The Cage’. Halstead had found multiple calls to him, and once Voight found him, he was going to get revenge. Thomas was handcuffed to the fence. Voight was standing in front of him.

“Where are Sarah Palmer and Colton?” Voight asked, as he wrapped his knuckles with chains.

“Who?” Thomas asked, keeping a watchful eye on Voight.

“Don’t play stupid with me,” he demanded, as he slammed his fist beside Thomas’s head.

Thomas didn’t answer. He just flinched.

Voight had never felt so angry. He punched Thomas in the abdominal. Thomas groaned in pain, as he tried to curl up.

“Where are they?” Voight demanded again, getting angrier as the time passed. Thomas didn’t answer, earning him another punch, and another.

“I don’t know!” he shouted in pain, as he tried to move away from Voight.

“I don’t believe you,” Voight told him, as he let the chains fall to the ground. He grabbed Thomas’s collar and pressed him against the gate, not caring how uncomfortable it was for his wrists.

“You’re going to tell me everything you know about Sarah Palmer, or you’ll regret meeting her,” Voight threatened, tightening his grip.

“Sh-she called me because she wanted me to buy her things,” Thomas exclaimed, on the verge of crying. He had never been in that much pain.

“Where did you drop them off?”

“In a van. It was a blue van. I never when to where they are staying,” Thomas answered, trying to move away.

“What kind of things did you get them?” Voight asked, not releasing the other man.

“Rope, straps, generator, cables, and other things,” Thomas’s cried out, his tears streaming down his face.

Voight let him go. He was in shock, from what he had just heard.

“What are they going to do to her?” Voight whispered to himself. He started to walk away.

Thomas shouted for him to return and let him go.

Voight stopped and turned to him, “You’re lucky I don’t kill you.”

Voight walked away and back to his Intelligence floor.

“We need to find her, and quick,” Voight told them, causing them to luck up at him.

“We’re doing all we can,” Ruzek said, pointing at their board.

“We have to do better,” Voight said, glaring at him. “Thomas Holland was getting things for them. He got rope, generator, cables, and other things. We need to find her before they hurt her.”

“Generator? Are they going to use it?” Dawson asked, not wanting to continue his question.

“We don’t know what they are going to use the generator for, but we need to find her before they do,” Voight said, as he looked at what the others had found.

**Chicago PD**

Sarah strapped Erin’s head to the table. The detective frowned, not knowing what she was doing. The man brought in a machine. Erin couldn’t see what it was. She listened as they moved around the room.

“What are you doing?” Erin asked, wanting answers.

“We’re going to  _ make _ you remember. It seems like your head doesn’t want you to remember, so we have to deal with your brain. The best way is to  _ shock _ it out of you,” the man said, as he connected the wire to the strap on her head.

Erin couldn’t breath. She paled, as she struggled to get out of the table. Tears started to sting in her eyes. She knew if they went though with it, it would not end well.

She tried hard to remember who it was. She tried to remember who took her. She knew the man was familiar. The woman, not so much. The pressure made her push through her memories. She closed her eyes, as she tried to think of the earliest memory she had.

“This is for your own good,” the man said, as he walked to the generator. He was reaching for the switch, when Erin shouted.

“No! Stop! I remember! I remember who you are!”

He turned to her. He slowly walked to her head, and looked down at her. “You remember who I am?” he asked, his voice full of hope. He felt so happy.

“I remember. Please don’t do this,” she begged in a small voice.

“Who am I?” he whispered, as if he was afraid to ruin the moment.

“You’re my dad. You’re my father,” she cried out, not knowing if she was safe.

“I missed you sweetie,” he said, as he removed the strap on her head.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin looked up and saw the man buying ice cream. Erin had a big smile on her face. She could see the scoop of chocolate chip in the cone. He walked to her and handed her the ice cream, which she happily took. _

_ “Tank you daddy,” she said, as she licked the ice cream. _

_ Her father smiled lovingly, as he brought his ice cream to his mouth. _

_ Once they were done, they started to walk home. “I love you,” he said. _

_ “Me too daddy,” Erin answered, as she skipped next to him. _

 


	6. December, I Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Carry You Home by Nashville Skyline

 

“You’re my father. I remember now, please let me go,” Erin begged, as she struggled to get out of her restrains.

Her father had a sweet smile on his face. “I can’t. You’ll leave if we let we go.”

“Let me go,” she told him, looking at her father with pleading eyes.

“We’ll be a family,” he said, his voice full of love.

**Chicago PD**

_ December 05, 1987 _

_ Erin was just one. It was going to be her second Christmas. Her first was a year before. She had been born three months before. Her first Christmas wasn’t anything special. Her parents didn’t have any money. They fed her and then put her to sleep. _

_ Erin giggled, as she watched her parents act all lovey-dovey. _

_ “Mama,” she giggled, clapping her hands. In front of her was her teddy bear, the only one she had. _

_ “Erin, baby, mommy loves you,” the older woman cooed, as she picked the one-year old up. She kissed the toddler’s cheek. _

_ Her father, stood on the side and smiled. He loved his little girl. He would do anything with her, and he didn’t know what he would do if she was taken from him. _

**Chicago PD**

Sarah walked up to her. Erin had slowly dozed off after her father left. Sarah watched the sleeping woman. She was looking at the resemblance between Erin and Colton. She could see they had the same skin tone, some of the same facial structure. She knew hazel eyes ran in Colton’s family.

Sarah wanted to hurt Erin, her stepdaughter. Sarah smirked at the thought. Erin was her stepdaughter.

She laughed, waking Erin up.

“What are you doing here?” Erin asked, sleep in her voice.

“Visiting. See you soon, my daughter,” Sarah answered, as she walked out.

**Chicago PD**

_ December 26, 1899 _

_ Erin was three. The three-year old was running around the house, happy. Her teddy bear was in her arms. Her father was running behind her. He was growling like a monster. _

_ That Christmas, her father had bought her a princess dress. _

_ The father and daughter were acting like dragon and princess. Her father was chasing her around the house. Erin’s mother was at work. _

_ “Daddy!” Erin shouted, as she giggled. She ran to her room, and hid under her bed. She covered her mouth with her hand. Her father entered the room, stomping on the ground. _

_ “Come out, come out, wherever you are,” he said, as he looked in her closest. “Where are you?” _

_ Her father walked near the bed, then away. Erin tightened her grip on her teddy bear. _

_ Her father pulled her feet out from under the bed. The small girl squealed. _

**Chicago PD**

Memories of Erin’s father rushed back. She remembered small moments. She remembered Christmas time with her father. Her father, who always made sure he spent an hour with her a day. He would make sure she got a bedtime story before bed. He was the best father ever, but then he left. He left, and became the man who kidnapped her.

**Chicago PD**

_ December 12, 1990 _

_ Erin was just four. Her father was going to take her Christmas shopping, and she was so excited. She was too young to notice the tension between her mother and father. Erin’s mind was wrapped around Christmas time. Her parents didn’t have a lot money, but they had enough to buy a few presents. Erin was always excited about spending time with her parents. _

_ She was excited, hoping to see Santa Claus. Her father always told her about him, he told her stories. She wanted to tell him about the puppy she wanted. She had seen a Germen Shepard pup and she wanted one. _

_ Erin held her father’s hand, as they walked around the mall. Her hazel eyes twinkled with joy. She was looking for Santa Claus and elves and reindeers.  _

_ They passed the pet store, and Erin stopped. She saw a small puppy; a small German Shepard puppy. _

_ “Daddy, puppy,” Erin squealed, as she jumped and pointed at the puppy. _

_ “Maybe Santa will get you one,” her father told her, as he looked at the puppy on the other side of the window. _

_ “I hope,” she said, as she smiled. _

**Chicago PD**

Erin smiled at the memory. Her father got her the puppy. She named him Cole, after Colton. She loved the puppy. He slept in her room. She kept him for that year. The next year, on Christmas Day, her father left. He left, and Erin gave him Cole. She was five when he left, and she didn’t know why.

Colton entered the room, and smiled at Erin. She didn’t smile back. Five years of love did nothing for ten years of not having a father, of having an absentee mother. Nothing.

“Erin, how are you?” he asked, as he sat down in front of her. Erin didn’t answer. She just shook her head.

“ _ This _ is how you treat your daughter? You tie her to a chair? Hurt her? You’re not a father,” Erin told him, shaking her head.

“You don’t get it, do you?” he asked in disbelief. He stood up and towered over her. “I did this for us! We could be a family, you, me, Sarah! Why can’t you understand that?! I’m your father!”

“You are not my father! You’re my sperm donor, nothing else,” she snapped, pure anger in her eyes.

“ _ Hank Voight _ ? He’s your father?” Colton asked, laughing.

“He’s more of a father than you’ll  _ ever _ be,” she snarled.

Colton stood in front of her. He raised his hand and brought it down to her cheek.

Erin’s face snapped to the side, as she groaned.

“I’m sorry,” he told her, as he stroked his cheek. “I’m so sorry, you just have to learn.”

Erin stared at her father in shock. He was nothing like the father of her memories.

“I’ll teach her a lesson. It’s the mother’s  _ job _ to make sure  _ our _ daughter is respective,” Sarah said from behind him. Erin looked at her hatefully.

Colton moved away and kissed her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too baby,” she responded, as she kissed his cheek in return, and kept eye contact with Erin.

Colton left the room, and closed the door behind him., leaving Sarah to do whatever she wanted.

**Chicago PD**

“I got something,” Jin said, as he handed them a picture of a truck. “This truck has been found outside a warehouse. The same license plate numbers Thomas gave us. It was a perfect match. We found them.”

Voight took the picture. “Let’s go rescue Erin.”

**Chicago PD**

_ “Get out!” Caroline Lindsay shouted, as she threw a lamp at Colton. Caroline had found a woman in Colton’s bed after she and Erin had returned from walking Cole on a Christmas afternoon. They weren’t married, and their relationship was rocky, but she never guessed he would cheat. _

_ “I’ll explain!” he exclaimed, as he protected his head from getting hit by the flying items. _

_ “What’s to explain? You cheated on me!” _

_ “Please!” _

_ As they argued, Erin sat on her front door steps with Cole, as she listened to her parents fight. _

_ Cole was sitting next to her, watching the cars drive by. His head was on her knees. _

_ Her father stormed out of the house. He sat down next to Erin. The five-year old looked at him, waiting for him to tell her it was okay. _

_ He didn’t tell her that. He told her he was leaving for a while. He told her he didn’t know if he was returning. He told he loved her. _

_ She begged him to stay. She told him she loved him. She promised she was okay. _

_ He told her he couldn’t. So she gave him her puppy to protect him. She cried, as she told Cole goodbye, and hugged her father. He left with Cole. That was the last time she saw him, but it was not the last time he saw her. _

 


	7. The Martyr, The Victim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: This Is War by 30 Seconds To Mars

 

“What are you going to do?” Erin asked, as she watched Sarah study her. Erin wondered what Sarah was thinking about, what she was going to do. Erin mentally readied herself for any physical pain she might feel.

“I don’t want to listen to you talk. It annoys me,” Sarah commented. Sarah left the room and returned with a scarf, which she tied Erin’s head with, so it covered her mouth and it was painful to her.

Erin tried to take it out of her mouth, but it was too tight and it was hurting her. Sarah grabbed Erin’s hair and pulled it, making Erin look up at Sarah.

“Isn’t that better?” she asked, an evil glint in her eye. She yanked Erin’s hair, and smiled when she heard Erin groan. “I don’t like you. If it were up to me, you’d be six feet under, but your father still wants you around. I don’t know why. You aren’t worth anything.”

Erin tried to move her head, but Sarah had a tight on her hair. When she moved her head, Sarah would yank it back. She groaned in pain.

Colton entered to room and looked at Sarah, urgently. “Thomas doesn’t answer the phone. I’ve called seven times.”

“You know what this means,” Sarah told him, letting go of Erin and giving Colton all his attention.

“You have an hour,” he told her, leaving the room.

Sarah laughed as she turned her attention back to the bonded woman.

“Let’s play a game. Let’s see how much pain you can handle  _ before _ you pass out,” she told Erin, who looked up at Sarah with fear. She was afraid. She knew there were no limits until she lost consciousness. She wished they would just knock her out the normal way, and use chloroform.

She stared at the crazy look in Sarah’s eyes, not knowing what the next hour would hold.

**Chicago PD**

“So we have an address. We’re going to surround the place,” Voight started, as he told the others what to do.

He told them the plan. The others listened closely, not wanting to mess up.

They all rushed to the cars, and sped to warehouse.

**Chicago PD**

Erin’s eyes started to droop, as she fought hard to stay awake. Sarah stood there with her smile. Erin’s dry blood smeared on her hands.

“Isn’t that a little too much?” Colton asked, as he entered the room. Twenty minutes had passed, and when he returned, Sarah had created a puddle of blood on the ground.

“Maybe a little,” Sarah admitted, as she took a towel from his hands and started to wipe the blood off her hands.

“Is she going to be okay?” Colton asked, worried. He moved and lightly tapped Erin’s pale cheek. Her eyes were half open. She couldn’t seem to focus on his face. “I think she lost too much blood.”

“I know a guy who can help her,” she said, as she gripped the knife, that she had stabbed Erin’s leg with.

Erin groaned, as she felt Sarah pull the knife out. She slowly raised her head. Her vision was blurry. She moaned onto the scarf.

“She’s tough,” Sarah stated, as she wiped the blood from the knife.

“I’m proud,” Colton praised, stroking Erin’s cheek.

Erin’s head lulled to the side, and her eyes closed.

“Finally,” Sarah muttered, when she checked to make sure Erin was unconscious.

**Chicago PD**

The team searched the warehouse. They had found the truck, and it was out of gas. They hadn’t found anything.

“I found blood,” Olinsky said over the walkie-talkies. The paled when he stared at the room.

Voight rushed to the room Olinskey was in. He froze, at the chair in the middle of a puddle of blood. He had a horrible feeling at it was Erin’s. He slowly walked to it, his mind running through any and all scenarios that could have happened. He turned around, and stared at the wall. There in blood,  _ Erin’s blood _ , was a message, to him.

**Too Late Voight  
** **You Won’t Find Her**

Voight felt lightheaded, as he stared at the message.

**Chicago PD**

Colton smirked as he drove to his old home. His childhood home. Sarah was sitting next to him, her hand intertwined with his. In the back seat, was a pale Erin. Her head was against the window, a blanket covering her body. Her hands were tied behind her back, and the scarf was wrapped on her wound. She would groan in pain every once in a while.

He knew the detectives were going to the warehouse. He knew they would feel horrible when they saw the blood. He decided he wanted to mess with Voight. He hated the man with everything he had. Voight replaced him in Erin’s life, and he wanted revenge. He wanted to hurt the man.

Colton parked in front of his old house. Sarah told him a doctor was in there, waiting for them, to check Erin over.

“I love you,” Colton said, as he leaned over and kissed Sarah’s cheek.

“I love you too,” she answered, with love in her voice.

Erin moaned, slowly waking up. She moved her head back, her eyes lowly, very weakly started to open.

“Let’s get her inside and checked out,” Colton said, as he got out of the car and opened the door. Erin’s body would have fallen out if it weren’t for the seatbelt.

He picked her up. Her head fell on his shoulder, making him smile as he thought of the times she would fall asleep in his arms.

Sarah watched him, so much angry in his body. She  _ hated _ Erin. She hated that Colton’s attention was on Erin, and she rarely got a chance with him alone. She missed the moments when Erin hadn’t been taken, and all Colton did was study her life. She knew, if Colton never entered the room, Erin wouldn’t had been alive. She watched, as Colton entered their house with Erin in his arms, wishing it was her.

**Chicago PD**

Voight was angry. He was angry with everyone and everything. He wished he had arrived at the warehouse earlier. If he had, maybe he could have stopped Sarah and Colton from taking her.

He got something, anything from his desk and tossed it to his door. The others jumped, not expecting it. They were disappointed they didn’t get there in time.

Voight started to breath heavily, trying to stay calm, but it was hard to do when the only thing in his head was the note left to him.

“We’ll find her. She’s strong, she’s going to be alive,” Olinsky said, as he entered the room, the only one brave enough to enter.

“I know. But alive and okay are not the same thing,” Voight answered, closing his eyes.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin gave Cole a plate of food, as she sat next to him, grinning. Erin looked up at her father, a twinkle in her eyes. Cole still had a bow tied around his neck. She loved her present, and loved that Santa Claus had gotten him to her. _

_ Her mother was smiling as well, so happy to see her daughter enjoying her Christmas. She knew Erin didn’t have a great life, with them being tight with money. She loved giving her daughter a day she would remember. _

_ “We love you baby,” she told her daughter who grinned back. _

_ Colton nodded, letting go of the tension between him and Caroline for his daughter. He knew there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her. _

 


	8. But If It’s True Then, Tell Me How It Got This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Title: The Mixed Tapes by Jack’s Mannequin

 

“How are you feeling?” Colton asked, when he realized Erin was slowly waking.

“I’m tired,” she answered, as she moved her head to the side.

“You’ll feel better soon,” he whispered, from his spot next to her. She was lying down on his bed, her wrists handcuffed to the headboard. Colton was sitting on a chair next to her. Sarah didn’t want to be there, with Erin.

“Let’s talk,” he offered, wanting to really get to know his daughter.

“Cole,” Erin moaned, as she tried to get comfortable. “What happened to him?”

Colton looked pained. He remembered how much Erin had loved her puppy. That Erin’s life revolved around the puppy.

“I’ll get you a new one,” he said, looking away from her.

“No, what I want from you is for you to me let go,” she said, as she tried to pull her arms.

“I can’t. We’re finally together,” her father told her, his eyes big and full of adoration.

“This is kidnapping,” Erin shot back, wanting to go home.

“It’s not. It’s just bring us together,” he tried.

“Stop saying together! You are not my father,” Erin snapped, glaring at the man.

“I’m your father,” he whispered, ignoring what she said. “I’m your father.”

“You left me  _ and _ mom. A father doesn’t just disappear. A sperm donor does,” Erin told him, as she tried to move away from him.

“I love you,” he said, as he stroked her hair.

“What is wrong with you?” Erin asked, in disbelief.

Colton looked at her, pain in his eyes. “Nothing is wrong. I just want you back in my life.”

“I’m not a child. I’m not going to run back just because you want to be in our lives. Why did you leave?” Erin asked, wanting answers. When she was younger, she would ask her mother why her father left, but her mother would tell her she was too young to understand. As she got older, she stopped asking, and started to blame herself.

“I fell out of love and in love. I wanted you in my life, but  _ Caroline _ wouldn’t allow it,” Colton answered, wishing he had been in her life rather than her mother.

“So it was Sarah? You cheated on my mom with Sarah? And you let me blame myself. You let  _ me _ think  _ I _ was the reason you left,” she told him, anger in voice.

“It was never your fault. You were the reason we stayed together,” Colton told her.

“Where were you?” Erin asked, her voice small.

“I was always there.”

**Chicago PD**

Voight was alone in his office, the picture of the bloody message in front of him. He had so many emotions running through him, fear, anger, shock, worry, and others none of the positive. He knew Erin was hurt, but he was wondering why she was taken and what they were doing to her. He had to save her.

**Chicago PD**

“I was there, during your elementary graduation, I was at your middle school one. I watched when that man,  _ Voight _ and the officers arrested you and Josh. I was there at your high school and college graduations. I watched you when you made your first arrest. I was there,” he said, lovingly.

Erin stared at him, not believing what she heard, but he knew about Josh and the arrest. He was there, but why hadn’t he said anything?

**Chicago PD**

Antonio was in his small break. He was with his wife, and Diego. Eva was with her friends. He thought about Erin, and what was happening to her. Erin was like a sister to him. He felt connected to her, especially after the conversation they had when he found out about her stealing tendencies. Laura left him alone, knowing it was hard on them. She just hoped they find Erin soon.

**Chicago PD**

“Why did you hide from me?” Erin finally asked after a few minutes after a silence.

“Sarah was going through a tough time. She had lost her baby girl, and you were just a reminder of what she lost,” Colton answered with sadness in his voice.

“For twenty years?” Erin questioned, not believing it.

“It still bothers her.”

**Chicago PD**

Olinsky was in his home, thinking about Alexis. He thought about what he would do if she went missing, if he had to accept that she was on the verge of death. He knew some of the feeling. He had known Erin since Voight took her in. He had seen her grow into adult hood, to the woman she was. He was angry that she was taken. She was like her niece. He can only hope they find her.

**Chicago PD**

“I needed a father in my life, but you abandoned us!” Erin snapped.   


“No,” Colton said, shaking his head.

“You left us, and then I started to screw up,” Erin told him, getting angrier by the second.

“No,” he said again.

“Yes! I was a street kid because of you  _ and _ mom,” she said, glaring at him.

“But you turned out great,” Colton said, trying to defend himself.

“Because Voight entered my life. He became my father,” she whispered thinking about Voight.

“Don’t say that,” he snapped, with much fury.

“It’s true. Voight is more my father than you  _ ever _ were,” she told him, pushing him.

“Shut up!” he demanded, raising his hand.

**Chicago PD**

Adam was new to the team. He had been with them for a little while, and he was creating great friendships with the team. Olinsky was his mentor. Voight was his leader. He had great friendships with Dawson and Halstead. Erin was his friend as well, and he didn’t realize how much she was a part of his life until she disappeared.  They had a good humorous relationship, and he liked talking to her, if it involved his fiancée. He missed their conversations. He wanted to find her quickly.

**Chicago PD**

Erin’s eyes watered, as her head registered the sting on her cheek. She couldn’t believe Colton had just slapped her. He hit her and left. She stared at the ceiling, thinking about what had happened to her. So much happened in so little time. She knew Voight and the guys were searching for her. She knew they were trying, and she kept her hope up. She hoped they’d find her soon.

**Chicago PD**

Halstead sat in the bar, staring into the glass in front of him. One person was occupying his thoughts. He missed her. He missed their banters. He wished he had asked more about the phone calls. He knew there was something wrong with the phone calls. If he had investigated, he could have protected her, but he didn’t, and now she’s gone. He couldn’t help but blame himself for her disappearance. 

He drank the alcohol from the glass in one gulp. He set it down hard, angry with Sarah and Colton for taking her, angry with Voight for having some sort of connection with the kidnapping, even if they didn’t know for sure. He was angry with Erin for not telling anyone about the phone calls. He was mad with himself for not doing anything.

He knew his feelings for her were growing, and the only thing that was stopping them was Voight. And now, that she’s missing, he was going crazy.  He didn’t know if he was going to be able to keep his feeling hidden any longer.

**Chicago PD**

Erin hadn’t realized she had fallen asleep. When she woke up, her leg started to hurt. She realized she was standing up, and her wrists were tried over her head. She opened her eyes, and noticed she was in a different room. Her wrists were tied on the ceiling fan. She was on her toes. She raised her leg to get off her injured leg. The scarf was back, and she knew it was not going to end well.

Sarah and Colton entered the room. Erin stared at them, not being able to talk.

“When are you going to learn that  _ I _ am your father, not  _ Voight _ ?” he asked, inspecting the rope.

Erin didn’t answer, she couldn’t.

“Sarah here is going to punish you,” Colton said, leaving the room once again.

**Chicago PD**

_ He watched as Erin hugged Voight. His fists clenched, hating the man for taking his spot.  _ He _ was her father, not that man. He was going to get her back. He just needed to plan it. His wife was standing next to him, taking pictures. He knew she didn’t to be there, but she loved him, and would do anything for him. _

_ “Soon Erin. Soon, we’ll be a family,” he whispered, as he looked at his daughter with love. _

 


	9. There's No Relief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey

 

Three days. Three days had passed since she was taken, kidnapped from her own home. She was still in her nightwear, a t-shirt and shorts. The stitches were visible  on her leg, from the stab wound. Her wrists were red, from the rope, and getting redder by the second.

Her arms and legs were being marked with welts, as Sarah walked around her with a belt. Erin groaned when the leather made contact with her skin. Sarah was aiming for skin, but she did hit Erin over her clothes as well.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” Sarah asked, a wicked smile on her face.

Erin didn’t answer. She still couldn’t. She was in too much pain to even think right.

“Do you like your punishment? This isn’t even a punishment, it too lenient on you. If it were to me, you would be bleeding out,” Sarah said, as she stared at Erin.

Erin scoff, as her head lulled forward. She was too weak to hold it up.

Sarah laughed as she raised her hand with the belt, ready to strike the other woman once again..

**Chicago PD**

“They went left,” Dawson said, as he stared at the tracks. He could see the tire tracks on the floor. He could tell Colton and Sarah sped away.

Voight stared at the street. He thought about what had happened, where they went, where she was.

“Jay, I want you to search the area, see if you find anything suspicious. Antonio, I want you to ask Caroline if she knows anyone who lives in this area. Al, do what you can, take Ruzek,” Voight ordered, as he looked around the house.

“What are you going to do?” Dawson asked, as he got him keys.

“I’m going to search the area. See if I find anything that can lead us to her,” Voight answered, staring at the warehouse.

The others nodded, and rushed to their jobs. Voight turned around and walked to the warehouse, hoping to find her.

**Chicago PD**

Erin’s body fell to the floor when Sarah cut the rope. Her body fell on her arms, with her wrists still tied together.

Sarah walked to Erin’s head and snatched the scarf off her.

“Who’s your father?” Sarah asked, as she tangled her fingers in Erin’s hair and yanked Erin’s head up.

Erin knew what she should have said. She knew the right answer would hurt her. She should have said what Sarah, or better yet Colton would want to hear, but her pride wouldn’t let her. She didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of letting them win.

“Not Colton,” she whispered, as she tried to push herself up with her elbows.

“I wanted you to say that,” Sarah said, laughing as she left the room, to most likely get something to hurt Erin with.

Erin sighed in pain, as she wondered what her team was doing to save her.

**Chicago PD**

“You don’t know a Sarah?” Dawson asked, as he showed her a picture.

“She looks familiar, but I don’t know anyone named Sarah,” Caroline Lindsay answered, as she studied the picture.

“Familiar how?” Dawson questioned, feeling like he had something.

“I feel like I met her before. I don’t know when, but I’ve met her before. But her name wasn’t Sarah. She didn’t introduced herself as Sarah,” she whispered, as she searched her memories for anything that would lead them to her daughter.

Dawson sat there, staring at the woman, waiting for something anything.

**Chicago PD**

“What are we doing here?” Ruzek asked, as he followed Olinsky into the file room.

The older man didn’t answer. He searched through the files, looking for anything. 

“Olinsky?” Ruzek asked, feeling useless. He wanted to help, he needed to help. He couldn’t just stand there and do nothing.

He watched as Olinsky opened a file and read what was in it.

“What is it?” Ruzek asked, moving to look at the file.

“Erin’s file,” the older man answered.

Ruzek slammed the file down and left the room while dialing on his phone. Ruzek watched him leave, before opening the file and looking at what made the other man leave.

**Chicago PD**

“Stop, please stop,” Erin whispered weakly. She was having a hard time breathing. She could taste the cooper taste in her mouth from the blood. She tried to push herself up, but she couldn’t. She fell back, the world spinning around her.

“And why should I listen to you?” Sarah asked, a small smirk on her face.

“Please,” she pleaded, as she stared at the ceiling.

Sarah left the room, but not before kicking Erin one last time.

When Sarah had returned to the room, she returned empty handed. She told Erin that Colton wanted her punished some more. Sarah was full of glee, while Erin wished for her nightmare to end.

For the first time since being kidnapped, Erin cried. She curled up into a ball on the ground and cried, ignoring the pain. She pressed her arms against her chest as she cried her heart out.

**Chicago PD**

“Where are you Erin?” Halstead asked himself as he drove around in the neighborhood. He looked for a while truck, or something that would lead him to Erin. He knew he wouldn’t stop searching until he had Erin in his arms. “Give me a sign.”

He stopped the car, and stared at the stop sign. 

_ “I don’t think it’s so much I’m a cop as much as Justin thinks I’m your boyfriend.” _

_ “You wish.” _

_ “You wish.” _

_ “No, you wish.” _

“I wish,” he whispered, not taking his eyes off the sign.

**Chicago PD**

“I’ll be there,” Voight said, as he hung up his phone. He rushed to one of his detectives, hoping to get answers. He said he did, and Voight could only hope that it was true.

He stopped in front of the building and saw Dawson and Caroline standing there, waiting for him.

She knows who took Erin,” he said, as he walked to the other man.

Just then, Voight’s phone. He looked down and read the message.

**I know who took Erin.**

They were finally going to get the answers.

**Chicago PD**

Erin slowly opened her eyes. She had fallen asleep after she had finished crying. Her head started pounding because of it, and her body started to ache. She groaned, not wanting to move much. She wished she could go back to sleep, but she was alert.

She pressed her palm under her and felt a cushion. She assumed Colton carried her. She hoped Voight would find her soon.

**Chicago PD**

_ He stared at his phone. Her number was on it, and he was getting the guts to call her. He was scared to call her. He wanted to hear her voice, but couldn’t get the nerve to call her. Sarah walked up to him, and took the phone from him. She put it in between them, and pressed speakerphone. After a reassuring look from his wife, he pressed call. _

_ “Hello?” her voice asked. _

_ Colton’s breath caught, as he heard her voice. Every time he was watching her, he was too far to hear her. It was the first time he heard her voice in over twenty years. _

_ He sighed, when he heard the dial. She hung on him. _

_ “We’ll call again later,” Sarah assured him. _

_ Colton nodded, a smile on his face. He loved his daughter so much. _

 


	10. She’s Waiting For Superman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Waiting For Superman by Daughtry

 

Colton was sitting next to her, with food and water. He felt he had deprived her enough. She needed to eat. He had noticed how weak she was after the lesson. Erin was still asleep. She hadn’t woken up; her body was trying to heal itself.

“Erin, sweetie, wake up, it’s time to eat,” he whispered, as he tapped her cheek.

Erin groaned, wanting to stay asleep. She was tired. She was hurting. It didn’t hurt as much as before, but it was painful.

She slowly opened her eyes. She saw Colton sitting in front of her. She tried to pull herself up, but her arms were too weak. Colton sat her up, and started to feed her. She ate quietly, knowing she needed the food and water, and fighting wouldn’t do her any good. She just let him help her.

**Chicago PD**

Voight sat at his desk, as he stared at the file in front of him. He stared at the picture, the picture of the man, of Erin’s father. He didn’t know her father. He hadn’t met him, and Erin never talked about him. He never could have guessed her father would kidnap Erin.

_ Colton Larson _

Her father changed his name.

**Chicago PD**

_ Caroline, Dawson, and Voight were in Caroline’ s living room. In her hand was the picture of Sarah. _

_ “Michelle Larson,” she told them, as she stared at the picture. _

_ “What?” Voight asked, not knowing what the name had to do with Erin’s kidnappers. _

_ “Erin was five when I met Michelle Larson. She was Erin’s babysitter, while her father and I worked. Her father always got home early. He loved going home to Erin. I thought he went home to Erin. One day, I went home early, took Erin shopping. When we got home, I found him in bed with Michelle. He had been cheating on me with her. I kicked him out. He wanted to take Erin with him, but I didn’t let him,” she explained, as she stared at the picture. _

_ “What does that have to do with the kidnapping?” Voight questioned. _

_ “It has everything to do with the kidnapping.  _ This _ is Michelle,” she said, as she showed them the picture of Sarah. “Erin’s father is Colton. When he left, he told me he would get Erin back. He didn’t care how long it would take.” _

_ “Why are you telling us this  _ now _?” Dawson asked, as he wrote down the names. _

_ “I didn’t remember. I thought the bastard had died,” she explained. _

_ Voight nodded, as he stood up, ready to search for information about Erin’s father, and the Michelle woman. _

**Chicago PD**

“She wants to kill me,” Erin whispered, as her eyes started to droop.

“Who? Baby, who wants to kill you?” Colton asked, as he stroked her head.

“Sarah,” she answered, her eyes closed.

“What are you talking about? She doesn’t want to kill you,” he told her, as he grabbed her hand.

Erin didn’t answer. She had fallen asleep. Colton sat with her, watching her. He tied her wrists to the headboard, not wanting to take any chances.

**Chicago PD**

“Sarah Palmer went by Michelle Larson when she first met the Lindsay family. She had an affair with Colton Lindsay. Caroline Lindsay kicked him out. Colton disappeared, and changed his last name to Larson. Sarah went back to Sarah. They took Erin,” Dawson explained to the team, as Voight leaned against Erin’s desk.

Halstead felt sick. He remembered the blood. And if Colton was Erin’s father, then  _ her father _ was hurting her. He hated the thought of abuse.

“I want you guys to find out what you can about Colton. Find out where he lives, who he has contact with, and what he had been doing the last few days,” Voight ordered, as he posted the information he had on the white board.

The other men got to work.

**Chicago PD**

“She told me you want to kill her. Why would she say that?” Colton asked, as he sat down next to his wife on their bed.

“She doesn’t know what to believe. Her mind is messing with her. She knows I’m doing this for you, to help you have the daughter I could never give you,” Sarah told him, lying.

“I believe you. I love you,” he said, as he kissed her on the lips.

“She’s trying to tear us apart. Don’t let her,” Sarah whispered against his lips.

“Never. I need both my girl’s in my life.” He decided to lie down and to go to sleep.

Sarah waited a while until she was sure Colton was asleep.

**Chicago PD**

Erin was asleep. She had been sleeping all day, too weak to do anything. She felt her throat tighten. She tried to move, but the ropes didn’t let her. Her eyes shot open, and she saw Sarah staring down at her.

Erin tried to breath, but Sarah’s hands were cutting off her pipes. She couldn’t get anything in her lungs.

“Listen you little bitch, Colton told you that you  _ think _ I want to kill you. You aren’t going to say anything about this, because if Colton even suspected that I  _ hate _ you, I will kill you,” Sarah threatened, and tightened her hold to add emphasize on her statement.

Erin didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She started to feel light-headed. Her vision began to blur.

“Answer me!” Sarah demanded.

“Ye-ye-“ Erin tried, as she slowly lost consciousness. 

Sarah grinned, as she let go. “Good.”

Erin breathed in as much oxygen she could in two seconds. She started to cough, and started fighting against the restrains.

Sarah grinned even more, and walked away.

“See you in the morning,  _ my daughter _ ,” she whispered, leaving Erin alone.

**Chicago PD**

“We’re going to find her,” Dawson told the other man.

“I know,” the other man whispered. “But what if we’re too late?”

“We won’t be,” Dawson answered, standing up.

Halstead watched Dawson walk away. He sat at his desk, and turned his attention to the desk in front of him,  _ Erin’s desk _ . He could imagine her sitting there, smiling at him.

“We’ll find you. I promise,” he whispered.

**Chicago PD**

_ Caroline and Erin got home with shopping bags. Cole was walking next to her. Erin was excited to be near Christmas. _

_ “Go play with Cole,” Caroline told her daughter, as she took the bags. _

_ Erin nodded and ran away. Caroline went to hid the bags in her room. She opened the door and froze. In her bed, were Colton  _ and  _ Michelle _ naked.

_ “I-I can explain,” Colton said, after he saw her. He pulled the covers over himself. _

_ “Get out,” she told him, anger in her eyes. _

_ “Caroline,” he tried. _

_ “Get out!” she said louder. _

_ “Plea—“ _

_ “GET OUT!” _ _  
_

_ Colton nodded. He got dressed, while Michelle stared at him. _

_ “Get out!” Caroline told Michelle, who had a smile on her face. _

_ Michelle got dressed and walked out of the room. _

_ “Caroline,” Colton muttered, as he walked to her. _

_ “Get out!” she snapped, as she picked up a lamp and threw it at him. _

_ “I’ll explain,” he said,  protecting himself. _

_ “What’s to explain? You cheated on me!” Caroline snapped, angry. _

_ “Please!” Colton pleaded. _

_ Caroline shot him a glare and walked out of the room. _

 


	11. And I Don’t Know How, I Don’t Know Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Light On My Shoulder by Susie Suh

**** Erin slowly opened her eyes. She was slightly afraid that Sarah would be standing over her. She looked around, and didn’t see anyone. She took a deep breath and took inventory of her injures. Her leg was hurting, the stitches. Her body was aching, and her throat was in pain.

The door opened, and Colton entered. He smiled at his daughter.

“Good morning sweetie,” he said, as he moved a chair next to the bed.

Erin didn’t answer. She didn’t walk to talk to her father. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She wanted to be released. She wanted the pain to stop.

“Let’s talk,” Colton told her, as he released her wrists.

Erin’s hands started to tingles, as the blood circulate regularly.

Colton moved her arms so they were at her sides, before holding the only closest to her.

“I want to tell you about our family,” he told her, as he stroked her hand. Erin looked at her biological father.

“What about them? Will it explain why you are so screwed up?” Erin questioned, glaring at him.

Colton looked at her, hurt flashing through his eyes. “Do you want Sarah to teach you some manners again?”

Erin flinched, but didn’t soften her glare.

“I learned all this because of my father, your grandfather. You never met him. He died before you were born,” he started, as he looked at Erin.

His daughter stared back at him, wondering where the story was going. If it was going to explain why she was being held captive.

As much as Erin didn’t want to admit it, she wanted to know. She wanted to know why her father was the way he was. She wanted to know what had happened to her family.

“I had a younger sister,” he said, as he smiled sadly.

**Chicago PD**

_ Six-year-old Colton swung his legs, as he stared at the white walls. He had been at the hospital for a few hours, and he was bored out of his mind. He wanted to see his little brother already. He wanted a little brother. He didn’t want a sister. _

_ His father walked up to him, and told him it was time to meet his sister. Colton was angry. He did  _ not _ want a sister. _

_ He let his father lead him to the hospital room. His mother sat in bed, with a pink blanket. She had a smile on her face, a smile Colton hadn’t seen before. He watched, as his mother passed the baby to her husband. He walked to Colton and showed the little boy, the baby. _

_ Colton stared his sister. He took in her black hair; there wasn’t much, her small button nose. A smile grew on his face as he stared at the baby. _

**Chicago PD**

Erin frowned. She never heard of her aunt. She never knew what happened to her. She wondered if her life would be different if she knew of her aunt, who ever she was.

“What happened to her?” Erin asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Colton smiled. “I was ten. She was four.”

**Chicago PD**

_ Colton worked on his homework. He was going to graduate elementary soon, and he was excited. He wanted to end the year with good grades. His sister, who his parents had named Erika, was coloring next to him. He looked over and saw her coloring Tigger with a blue crayon. _

_ Their father had lost his job, and would avoid the kids at all costs. Colton knew he wasn’t handling it well. He’d been watching the way his mother was around his father. He’d heard her hiss in pain, or whimper when she moved too much, or when she’d pick Erika up. _

_ To add on the pressure of losing the job, Ericka was sick. She didn’t have much longer to live, and they were waiting for something, for the end. _

**Chicago PD**

“She died,” Erin muttered, tears stinging in her eyes for the aunt she never got to meet.

“She was perfect. She didn’t cry at night, she was smart. She didn’t  _ deserve _ to die,” he told her, glaring at a spot in front of him.

**Chicago PD**

_ Colton stood with his parents, as they watched the casket lower. That was it. Colton no longer had a sister. He was an only child again, and he hated it. He wanted his sister back. He wanted Erika. _

_ His father watched him. Colton clenched his first. _

_ “Let’s go,” his father whispered, as he pulled his son away. His mother followed silently behind them, fresh tears falling. _

_ Colton’s father dropped his wife at their house, and took Colton for a drive. _

_ “How are you son?” the older man asked _

_ Colton shrugged, but didn’t answer. He was angry. He was hurt. He was sad. _

_ “Do you want a sister?” his father questioned. _

_ Colton turned to his father and nodded. He looked around and noticed they were at the park. _

_ “Which one do you want as a sister?” his father asked. _

**Chicago PD**

“He kidnapped girls? To be your sisters?” Erin asked, as she tried to sit up. She moaned in pain, but pushed pass it to sit up.

Colton nodded. “He brought home girls to replace Erika. He didn’t stop until it was the right girl.”

Erin stared at him, slightly scared.

“Wh-what did you do the other girls?”

Colton looked stared straight into his daughter’s eyes. “They went where Erika was. If she couldn’t live, why should they?”

Erin’s eyes widened.

“I was going to do the same with you. Replace you, but then I realized, I didn’t need to replace you. I just needed to get you back,” he told her.

Erin was relieved that no one died because of her. She closed her eyes and wished for her rescue.

Colton smiled at her with love in his eyes.

**Chicago PD**

“We found where they are,” Jin told Voight, he handed his boss a folder.

Voight opened the folder, and saw a picture of a house.

“This is where she is?” he asked, wanting to end the search and to make Colton pay.

Jin nodded.

Voight nodded, as he looked at his team. “Let’s go.”

**Chicago PD**

_ “Mommy, why did you name me Erin?” the small girl asked, as she sat with her mother. It was one of the rare moments her mother was sober. _

_ “Your father wanted a name close to someone he once knew,” her mother answered, remembering the story Colton had told her about his baby sister. _

_ “Mommy, is daddy coming back?” Erin asked, as she looked at her mother with Hazel eyes. _

_ “I don’t think so,” her mother answerer, before leaving her daughter alone. _

_ Erin frowned, as she watched her mother walk away. She hated that her mother was always sad. She wished her father would return and make her mother happy again. _

 


	12. Never Let Me Hit the Ground, You’ll Never Let Me Crash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Parachute by Ingrid Michaelson

 

Erin groaned, as Sarah punched her stomach. She didn’t remember how she got there. She fell to her knees, as she clenched her stomach in pain. She felt Sarah grab her by the hair and glare at her.

“Why are you doing this?” Erin asked, wincing as she took a breath. She could feel blood on the corner of her lip. She could also taste the cooper of her blood in her mouth. She wondered why Sarah was doing this. Why she was still with Colton, who belonged in a psychiatric ward. “Why are you with him?”

“I love him. I would  _ do _ anything for him, even deal with his _ pathetic _ daughter,” she answered, as she released her stepdaughter. Erin dropped to the ground. Her body didn’t seem able to support her body.

Erin didn’t say anything in return. She was busy trying to get through the pain she felt. Erin closed her eyes, and prayed for her team, for her real father.

**Chicago PD**

Dawson hung up the phone, as the team rushed to the address they had.

“Who was that?” Halstead questioned, giving Dawson a look.

“My sister. There is a chance Erin could be hurt, and we might need a paramedic. I know Voight is too strung up to realize that, I know you haven’t called anyone, and I also know Al and Ruzek won’t as well,” Dawson explained, as he stared at the car in front of him.

“I hope we won’t need them,” Halstead muttered, as they neared the house.

**Chicago PD**

“Stand up,” Sarah ordered, pulling Erin up by her hair.

Erin whimpered as she stood up. The welts on her body were still hurting her. They weren’t being taken care of, and she knew there was a big chance of infection. If she had to guess, she would say that an infection had already started. She hadn’t been feeling well, and her body felt cold. She knew Sarah wouldn’t care. 

Sarah made sure Erin was standing on her own. She smirked when she noticed Erin wobbling on her feet. She was just about to slap Erin when she heard someone behind her. She looked back and saw Colton standing there. He smiled at them, pure love in his eyes.

Sarah smiled back and moved away. She knew he didn’t want to see her hit his daughter. She kissed his cheek and walked out of the room.

Colton picked Erin up, bridal style. He walked to her room, and laid her down on the bed. He sat down, and watched her.

“What’s going to happen?” Erin asked, weakly. Her head was spinning, and she was tired.

“I need to get rid of Voight.  _ I’m _ your father, and he can’t be around,” he answered, as he stroked her hair.

“Y-you can’t. You won’t be able to,” she whispered, trying to sit up. Her dizziness and fatigue be damn, she had to protect Voight.

“He’s coming here. I’m going to end it now. I’ve called for some help,” he said, as he moved to tie Erin to the headboard. She fought back, trying to stop him from hurting her real family. “Stop fighting. It’s doing to be over soon,” he whispered, after he finished tying her up.

Erin groaned as she fought against the ropes. Her eyes watered when she thought about what Colton was planning. Her team was walking to an ambush. They had to be careful. They just had too.

**Chicago PD**

“Wait here,” Dawson told his sister and her partner. They were ready to head inside the house in front of them, but they didn’t know if it was safe. As far as they knew, there was a dangerous woman and man in there holding one of their own captive.

Voight split the team in two. Halstead and Dawson would go through the back with other officers. Ruzek and Olinsky go though the front. Atwaters and Burgess would be going in with them. Voight was going to find another way in.

They headed inside the house; ready for anything, as Gabriella Dawson and Leslie Shay watched the police enter the house, hoping they weren’t needed when they came out.

**Chicago PD**

Erin clenched her eyes shut, when she heard Voight’s voice. He was ordering her biological father and his team down. She choked back a sob when she heard the gunshots. She didn’t know what was going on, and she hated it. She hated no knowing what was going on, especially when she was the reason.

Her breath got caught when she heard the door open. She kept an eye on the door, as she tried to move away from the door. She was scared. She didn’t know who it was, if it was someone in Colton’s side, if it was Sarah ready to kill her and say it was an accident. She didn’t know if it was someone in her team. She had no idea, and it scared her.

The door opened and two men stood there. She let the breath out and half laughed when she realized it was Halstead and Dawson.

Halstead couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The woman that had his heart was tied to a bed, her body covered in welts. He could see the stitches on her leg, and the bruises. He was so angry. He felt like hurting those who had caused her pain.

Dawson rushed to untie her. He assumed it wasn’t comfortable. Not if she was like that for the last few days.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice full of pain. He felt Halstead stand next to her, soothing her while he untied her as quick as he could.

“It’s going to be okay. We’ve got you. We are going to get out of here, and get you home. I promise,” he told her, as she stared at him. She looking into his eyes while Dawson did what he did. Halstead’s eyes kept her calm.

“Okay, pick her up, carefully,” Dawson said, as he watched Halstead pick Erin up.

They walked out of the room, and headed outside, but froze when they saw Colton aiming his gun at Voight, who didn’t have a gun for an unknown reason. Dawson pulled out his gun and aimed it at Colton. Erin tried to move from Halstead’s hold, trying to stop her biological father from hurting her adopted father. Halstead was busy trying to keep Erin up, that he didn’t see her grab something from his side.

“Let me try to talk to him, please,” Erin begged, her pain-filled eyes connected with Halstead’s.

He nodded and let her stand next to him, but made sure he was carrying most of her weight.

“Daddy, don’t do this,” she begged the man who kidnapped her.

“I have to. You can’t have him as you  _ father _ . That title belongs to  _ me _ . The only way I can take it back is if he’s dead,” Colton answered, looking at his daughter. He glared at the man holding her, but didn’t move his gun from Voight.

“Please,” Erin tried on last time. Colton shook his head, and gripped the gun tighter. She had to act fast. She saw his finger twitch against the trigger.

_ Bang! _

They stared in shock, as the body fell to the ground. Blood was dripping from his head, and a feminine scream could be heard.

Erin dropped the gun; that she had taken from Halstead’s hoister. She had pulled the trigger. She was reason there was a bullet in Colton’s head.

She stood there, frozen, as she watched the blood ooze out of Colton’s head. She had killed him. She killed her own father. She killed the man who gave her life.  She watched as Sarah screamed and run to Colton’s body. She screamed in pain, while Erin watched, feeling numb.

Halstead was talking to her, but she didn’t hear anything. He picked her back up and rushed out of the room. He needed to make sure she was okay. Dawson and Voight stayed to finish the arrests.

Erin didn’t remember anything while Gabby Dawson and Shay looked her over and took her to the hospital. All she remembered was her father’s dead body that laid on the floor because of her.

Finally, she fainted, the last few days had finally caught up to her. Her fever had heightened. Gabby Dawson and Shay rushed, knowing things weren’t looking well. They hoped the experience wasn’t going to ruin Erin. They just hoped.

**Chicago PD**

_ Colton was happy. He had never been so happy. He wondered if his sister was that tiny when she was born. His little girl, she had finally arrived after nine months. He fell in love her the moment he saw her. She was asleep in her mother’s arms. _

_ Caroline was on the bed next to him. She was also staring at the baby, the baby that was inside of her for nine months. She had carried the little girl for nine months, and she was finally there, in her arms. _

_ “Erin,” Colton whispered, smiling softly. He gently stroked her face. Erin clenched her eyes, and looked ready to cry, but fell back to sleep. _

_ Caroline looked at the father of her child, her boyfriend, and nodded. Erin, I like it,” she responded. _

_ “You hear that. Your name is Erin, and I’m going to love you forever,” Colton whispered, as he took Erin in his arms. “I love you baby.” _

 


	13. It’s Killing Me To See You This Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men

Voight rushed into the hospital. He let the other officers handle the arrests; he needed to see how Erin was. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. Erin, leaning against Halstead because she couldn’t hold her own weight, cuts and bruises covering her body and face. The stitches on her leg, the haunted look on her face after she killed her father.

He saw Halstead sitting in on the chairs, biting his thumbs. He rushed to him, wondering if the doctors told him anything.

Halstead stood up when he saw Voight. He had been alone, and waiting to hear anything about Erin.

“Gabby told me she lost consciousness in the ambulance. She was stable during the ride. She said, Erin had lost a good about of blood, the blood we saw at the warehouse. It was hers. And they haven’t told me anything else,” he said, as the rest of the team and their two officer friends rushed to them.

“Is she going to be okay? Have they told you anything?” Dawson questioned, his voice filled with concern.

Voight and Halstead shook their head. All the men and Burgess took a seat as the waited for a doctor to tell them about Erin.

“Where was she?” Voight questioned, looking at Dawson and Halstead, knowing they had found her.

Halstead looked at Dawson, knowing the answer would anger Voight. It had angered them as well. They couldn’t believe a father would hold their only daughter hostage like that.

“She was tied to a bed. There were marks on her wrists when I untied her. She had been tied for a long time,” Dawson answered, his hatred and anger rising. He would have never hurt his daughter or son the way Colton had hurt Erin.

“He’s lucky he is dead,” Voight sneered, angry. He had made a promise to himself to protect Erin from the bad men in her life after Josh Martin. Josh Martin was Erin’s boyfriend when she was fifteen. He had been abusive, mentally, sexually, and physically. He would make Erin do drugs, and get drunk with his friends. After arresting, both Erin and Josh, Voight had beat the boy up, and kept Erin away from him. He had felt protective of Erin, and had promised to protect her from any other men, who would be a bad influence. He couldn’t protect her from her own father, who he had never met until that day. In all the years he knew her, Erin rarely mentioned her father. Voight checked on him, and the man disappeared. He wished he had gone deeper into the search to prevent the kidnapping.

They all waited in silence, as they thought about what they had gone through. Erin had been kidnapped four days prior, from her own home. She had been receiving phone calls from her own father, and Halstead was the only one who knew. He didn’t think anything of it, until she was missing. He regretted not saying anything. During those four days, while they searched high and low, her biological father and stepmother were torturing Erin. After finally, after being found, she shot her father in the head. His blood was in her hands, and they didn’t know how Erin was going to deal with everything that had happened.

Finally, a doctor came out and walked towards the group. He asked for someone related, and Voight stepped up, stating he was her father. The doctor told Voight about her cut, a head injury she had endured, the fever that they were waiting for to break, the infected cuts on her body, and the bruises. The doctor told him Erin was going to be fine, and that she had to let her wounds heal. He told them they could see her, and that she was resting.

All the men and Burgess walked towards Erin’s room. They saw her asleep on her bed. Her head was bandaged. Her wrists were wrapped with gauzed; the chaffing of the rope had done a number on her wrists. The rest of her body was under the bandage.

Voight just stared at the young woman. She was his daughter. He had been there when she graduated. He had been there for so much, but he had never seen her so beat up. He glared at the floor, before leaving, too angry to stay there. He wanted to calm down a little before going into the room and staying with Erin. He knew he was going to stay the night, he wasn’t comfortable leaving her alone for the night.

Dawson stared at Erin. She was like a little sister to him. He enjoyed messing around with her, teasing her. He was the first person she talked to about her past. He was the only one who knew about her attempt of suicide after her mother had blamed her for her father leaving them. He looked at the gauze, and though about a fifteen-year-old Erin in she hospital after cutting her wrist. He had to leave before it got too much for him.

Olinsky was like an uncle to her. He had been Voight’s friend for a number of years, and he remembered a younger Erin. He had seen her grow up from a troubled teen to a strong, independent woman. He hoped the kidnapping didn’t damage the woman she had become.

Ruzek hadn’t known Erin for a long time, but they had become friends. He smiled when he remembered the picture she had taken of him on a pile of money. She had taken it while everyone else ignored him. She was a great friend to him, and he hoped he could be the great friend to her, now that she would need a friend.

Atwaters held on to his walkie, as he looked at one of the women he looked up to. He didn’t know a lot of her past, but he knew enough to know she had beaten the outcomes. She had come out on top. He worked with the department enough times to become good friends with the whole unit. He reminded himself to let Erin use his cup when they went out again.

Burgess had wished to be in Erin’s place before, in the Voight’s Intelligence Unit. Erin was the only female, after Julie died. She was with all the boys, and Burgess looked up to that as well. Erin had a special relationship with Voight, one that not a lot of people understood, except Dawson because he knew more than the other. After finding out about Erin’s father, she didn’t know what to think. She didn’t want to be in her place, she didn’t want to go through what Erin did, but it did make Burgess look at Erin in a new light. She saw a tougher, stronger woman.

Halstead was the only one in the room after everyone else left. He was sitting on the chair next to the bed. He gently took her hand, and sat in silence, as he studied her injuries.

“I’m here for you Erin. You’re not alone, I’ll always be here,” he whispered, as he closed his eyes. He wished he had shot her father. He thought her father got the easy was out, and he deserved to rot in the worst way possible. He tried to think of how Erin was feeling. He tried to feel the hopelessness Erin felt, and it brought tears to his eyes. “I’m going to help you. Whatever you need, I’m here.”

He sat there, thinking of ways to help her in the future. He just wished they had found her earlier. He looked up and saw that Voight had returned. Voight was staring at their linked hands, but didn’t say anything. Halstead made no movement to separate the contact.

Voight sat down on the other side, and both men sat there in silence, hoping for Erin to wake up soon.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin smiled as she sat down in front of Voight. They were having their ‘Weekly Check-Ups’. She had moved in with him a few weeks after her attempted suicide, and he was taking care of her. He wanted to have a dinner a week with just the two of them. They could talk about anything, or anyone without any limits. If Erin had urges that she wasn’t good enough to live, she would tell Voight and he would help her. If she had problems at school, she would tell him, and he would find a way to help. _

_ She was grinning, as she sat in front of him. He raised his eyebrow, also smiling. He knew she had good news and he was teasing her by making her wait. _

_ Finally, she blurted it out. “I want to be a cop.” _

_ “Why?” he asked, staring at her in surprise. He was expecting something else, something completely different. _

_ “I want to help people, like you helped me,” she answered, her cheeks turning red. _

_ He smiled as he nodded. He knew Erin was turning her life around. He knew she wanted to be better. _

_ “Thank you,” she whispered, as she looked up at him under her eyelashes. He raised his eyebrow. “You’re the father I never had. You changed me life, and I’m thankful for that.” _

_ Voight smiled softly as he nodded. Erin blushed and silently ate her food. He watched, remembering when he first met her. _

_ He would have never guessed the bread-stealing girl would become a great cop that he would brag about. _


	14. And I'm Stuck In A Dream That Will Not Let Me Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Trace of You by Peter Bradley Adams

 

Voight was siting on the chair next to Erin. She still hadn’t woken up, and he was starting to worry. The doctor said she would be waking up soon. He stared at bruises on her body. He was cursing Colton in his head. He wished Colton was alive, so he could kill him with his bare hands. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down. He didn’t want to be angry when Erin woke up.

His mind went to Jay Halstead. He didn’t approve of a relationship between Halstead and Erin, but if this detective could help Erin, he would let them bond. After the last day, Voight didn’t know whom to trust with his daughter. She didn’t seem to have luck with men, with the exception of himself and the team. He didn’t want Halstead to hurt her.

His eyes shot opened when he heard a groan. He moved to hold her hand as she slowly opened her eyes. He saw the tears well up in her eyes, and her eyes darted around. After she made sure it was safe, she made eye contact with Voight.

“How are you doing?” he asked, as he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. He wanted to assure her that she was okay. No one was going to hurt her.

“Hurts,” she whispered, as she closed her eyes. Voight’s eyes soften even more.

“I’m going to call a doctor. I’ll be right back,” he told her, as he exited the room. He got his phone out and started calling his team.

**Chicago PD**

Her father is dead. He was shot in the head. She shot him. She killed her father. She just stared at the ceiling as she thought about her father’s death.  The doctors were around her, making sure she was fine. They had given her the medication to numb the pain, and it had worked. She didn’t feel much. She just laid there as the doctors probed her.

“—any questioned?” was all she heard from the question.

“When do I go home?” she asked, her voice void of emotion. She just stared at him, no expression.

“Soon, we just want to supervise your fever. It has gone down some, but we want to keep you until it’s in the normal range. We don’t want to take any chances,,” he responded as he left the room.

Voight entered as the doctor left. He gave the other man a nod before turning to Erin. He frowned as he stared at her dull eyes. She tried to give him a smile, but she couldn’t. The last time he had seen her so defeated, he still had nightmares about it.

_ Voight decided to check on Erin. He walked to her apartment and knocked on the door. There was no answer. He remembered Erin telling him her mother was a drunk. He looked under the mat and found no key. He checked around the door, the window and nothing. Sighing, he turned the knob, it was unlocked. He looked inside and saw a woman asleep on the couch. Bottles around her. He heard sobbing. Frowning, he entered and headed to the sound. The sobbing was weak. It was coming from the bathroom. _

_ He knocked. The sobbing stopped. There was no sound. He turned the doorknob and peeked inside. _

_ His heart stopped. He saw Erin, fully clothed, in the bathtub. The water was red. Her lips here blue. She was so pale. Her wrists were bleeding. Her eyes were closed. _

_ He rushed to her and pulled her out. He called for her mother. He shouted, but she never went. He started rocking the lifeless body. He begged her to wake up. He took out his phone and called for an ambulance. _

_ Erin weakly opened her eyes. She smiled. “I’m…. sorry….. Hank.” _

_ “No, you’re not giving up,” he told her, as he clenched his teeth. The girl, she was special. He would be damned if she left early. _

_ “I’m…. sorry,” she whispered as her eyes slowly closed back. _

_ “Stay awake kid. Stay awake,” he demanded, as he pulled the body close to him. _

_ He stayed like that until an ambulance arrived. _

He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it. He heard footsteps rushing to the room. He had a feeling he knew who it was. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he knew there was one other person who might help Erin. He hoped he was right.

Halstead entered the room, hoping a teddy bear with the words  _ Get well so _ on it’s stomach. Two balloons were tied to the bear’s wrist. He placed it on the table next to her bed and asked her how she was feeling. Erin didn’t answer, which caused the two men to frown.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Halstead questioned, as he grabbed her hand.

She moved it away and nodded. “Leave me alone,” she whispered, as she stared at the ceiling.

Halstead tried not to feel hurt. He knew she had been through a lot, and she had to deal with it, but it did hurt him that she was pulling away.

Voight touched his shoulder, and signaled for the door with his head. Halstead sighed and nodded. He followed his boss out the room. He frowned when Voight closed the door.

“She needs time to deal with this,” he said, as he looked at Dawson, who had just arrived.

“We can’t let her deal with this alone,” Halstead snapped, as he glared at the man.

“We’re not. We’re going to help her. Just let be alone for a while. Let it sink in. Then we’ll help her,” the older man answered, before turning his attention to Dawson. “I need to talk to you.”

Dawson nodded and followed the other man to the corner. Halstead, who was tired of secrets followed them and stayed hidden as he listened to the conversation.

“ _ We have to watch her. I know she told you, and I fear she may try again,” _ he heard Voight say. Halstead frowned, not knowing what his sergeant was talking about, and how it involved Erin.

_ “She won’t try it. We’ll keep an eye on her. She’s strong. She’s not going to try again. She knows better too. She was just fifteen then. She was a kid,” _ Dawson answered.

_ “This might have broken her. You didn’t see her. Her eyes were so empty. The last time I saw that was when I found her, almost dead.” _

“What are you talking about?” Halstead asked, concerned and curious about the last comment.

“Erin had tried to kill herself when she was fifteen. We are worried she might try,” Dawson answered. He knew they needed as much people helping them keep watch. They couldn’t let Erin try anything.

“She wouldn’t try that,” Halstead muttered, in denial. He didn’t believe Erin would try that. She was too strong, too brave to try that.

Voight shook his head and told him. He told him everything.

**Chicago PD**

Erin was curled up on the bed. Her eyes were closed. Her mind was in the house, in front of her father’s body.

_ She could hear Sarah’s cries, she could smell the blood. The blood that was covering her. Her hands were drenched in his blood. She tried to cry for help, but she couldn’t get a sound out. _

_ Colton opened his eyes and looked at her. He looked straight into her eyes. _

_ “You killed me. You deserve to feel the pain. You  _ never _ kill your own father. You are pathetic. This is all your fault,” he said, as tears streamed down her face. She saw Sarah pick up the gun and aim it at her. She pulled the trigger. _

Erin sat up on the bed. She was gasping for air. Her eyes darted around the room, and saw three people sleep in the room. Voight, Dawson, and Halstead were on chairs around the room. They had fallen asleep.

Erin could feel her tears travel down her face. She saw the drops land on the blanket.

It was her fault. It was all her fault. She had to live with it. It was her punishment.

**Chicago PD**

_ Josh Martin smiled at her. He was nice to her, and she was falling in love with him. He let her stay at his house whenever she didn’t want to go home. _

_ One day, they were making out on his bed. He wanted to do more, but she didn’t. She told him to stop a couple of times. But he didn’t listen. She pushed him off, a little harder than she thought because he fell off the bed. He stood up and glared at her. He grabbed her by the arm and made her stand in front of her. _

_ “Bitch,” he snarled as he tightened his grip. _

_ “You’re hurting me,” she whimpered, as she tried to pull her arm away. _

_ “This is your punishment. I’m your boyfriend. You don’t get to treat me like that. This is why your father left. You’re ungrateful. I should punish you for him. He’d love that,” he told her, a smirk on his face. _

_ Erin shook her head as she silently cried. She was in pain, and she was scared. She wished someone would save her. She wished her daddy would rescue her. _

 


	15. I Pick You Up When You’re Getting Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Lego House by Ed Sheeran

The doctor was telling Voight what about how to handle Erin’s injuries. Voight didn’t want this detective to be home alone. He wanted her at his house so he could watch over her, and make sure she didn’t strain herself. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep without knowing she was going to be safe.

Erin sat on the edge of the bed, not paying attention to the doctor. She was pulling on the threads of the sweater Voight had brought her to wear. Her mind went to the bloody clothes she had worn those four days. She closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the thoughts. She clenched her eyes shut as she remembered about the pain she had felt. She scratched her wrist, and dug her nails onto her skin, trying to take her mind off things.

“Are you ready?” Voight asked, bringing Erin back to reality. The doctor handed him a prescription note, for the pain medication and sleeping medication Erin would have to take. He also gave Voight a number for a therapist.

Erin nodded and stood up. She kept her hand on the mattress for support. She glared when a nurse entered the room with a wheel chair.

“Hospital rules,” the nurse told the ex-CI, as she pushed the chair towards Erin.

Erin turned her glare to Voight, who was a little happy to see an emotion. The three days Erin had been in the hospital had been torture. Erin’s eyes were so hollow, so empty, her voice had no emotion, and she only slept when the doctors gave her medication. Without it, she would wake up with nightmares.

“Sorry, rules,” he said, as he brought his hands up.

Erin rolled her eyes. “Since when do you follow rules?”

She moved to sit down on the chair. She knew she would lose the argument, and just sitting down would get her out of the hospital quicker.

She closed her eyes while Voight pushed her out of the hospital.

**Chicago PD**

Laura Dawson smiled as she saw Voight park his car. Her smile disappeared when she saw the state in which Erin was in. The once strong, confident woman was a broken, vulnerable girl. Her eyes welled up as she watched Voight help Erin into the bakery.

She rushed to open the door for them. She followed them, as they went to a table in the back. “You need anything?”

Erin shook her head, but Voight nodded. “The usual.”

Laura nodded before heading out to get the bread and drinks they usually ordered whenever they were there.

“I’m not hungry,” Erin muttered, as she looked up at Voight.

“You need to eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”   


“Erin.”   


“I don’t want to eat,” Erin whispered, as she lowered her eyesight to the table.

“What are you thinking?” Voight questioned. Erin hadn’t talked about the kidnapping. No one knew how she got the wounds, they could only assume. She would just close up every time Colton or Sarah’s name would come up. They couldn’t get anything out of her.

“Nothing.”

“Sarah wants a trial,” Voight announced, causing Erin to pale up. He reached over to grab her hand, but Erin flinched away.

She clenched her eyes shut, trying to keep her memories at bay. She didn’t want to remember. She didn’t want to think about it.

“Why?”

“She believes it unjust. She wants years shaved off her sentence.”

Erin didn’t answer. She gave Laura a small smile when the woman placed a warm drink in front of her.

“No caffeine,” the woman said, as Erin nodded.

“Erin, what’s going on?” Voight questioned, as he grabbed her hand.

“Nothing,” she muttered, as she moved her hand away from him.

Voight sighed and watched her.  He watched her lower her head, and stare into her cup. He hadn’t seen her so broken up. He didn’t know what he could do to help her.

**Chicago PD**

“It’s not fair,” Halstead muttered, as he glared at the papers in front of him.

Dawson nodded, as he tried to concentrate on the paperwork. He wanted to hurt Colton Larson. He wanted to make him pay for hurting Erin. He wanted Colton to suffer.

“It’s not fair that he gets to hurt Erin, and she has to deal with everything,” the younger man continues.

Ruzek and Olinskey watched both men. They were also worried about Erin.  Olinskey was worried about her mental and emotional health. He was worried about what it was going to do to her, mentally.

“We got to show her she’s going to be okay. That she is strong, and can get through this. We have to make her release everything she is feeling, talk about what happened,” Olinskey told the other men.

The men sat there, thinking of ways to help Erin. He didn’t know 

**Chicago PD** **  
**

Erin was on the couch in Voight’s house. She was hugging a pillow, while staring at the wall in front of her. Voight watched her, trying to think of a way to get her to talk. He didn’t know a lot about what she went through, but he knew it wasn’t pretty. He knew she was internalizing everything, and he worried about it blowing up.

“Erin,” he whispered, moving to sit in front of her. He kept his eyes on her, but she stared at his collar. “Erin, you have to talk to me.”

“Why?”

“You promised.”

“It’s not going to change anything. He’s dead.”

“Erin, you have to talk to me.”

“He’s dead.”

Voight saw some emotion in her eyes.

“Erin, you promised to talk to me.”

“He’s  _ dead _ . Just leave me alone!” she snapped, as she got up and stormed away. All he could do is watch her walk away, hoping that she’ll open up soon.

**Chicago PD**

_ Voight was in Erin’s new room. The fifteen year old was in awe, as she looked around. She hadn’t had her own room before. The room was simple. There was a desk, a bed, cabinets and a few other basic things. There wasn’t a lot, but it was enough for her. She looked at Voight and smiled. _

_ “Thank you,” she whispered. _

_ “You’re welcome. You know the rules. We have a night where we go eat, once a week. You tell me the truth, about your urges, or if something’s bothering you. You tell me when something is wrong. This only works if you are going to try.” _

_ Erin nodded, as she placed her bag down. She walked up to Voight and wrapped her arms around her. “I promise,” she whispered. _

_ He gave her a small smile, even though she couldn’t see it, and returned the hug. _


	16. I Don’t Know What I’ve Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Where I Stood by Missy Higgs

**** Erin’s wounds were healing up. Her skin was going back to its regular color. Her physical appearance was going back to normal, but her emotional and mental states were the same, or even worse. Unlike her pain medication, her sleeping medication was needed more. She took her medication every night, and she was a little scared of becoming too depended on them.

Erin placed the bottle on the night table. There was only one pill left. She needed to get a refill. Erin got dressed and walked to the kitchen. Voight was making pancakes. He gave her a quick smile before going back to the food.

“When can I go back to work?” Erin asked, as she watched him cook. He placed a pancake in front of Erin. He turned to get more.

“Erin, it’s too early.”

“But I’m better.”

“Erin.”

“I’m okay! I did what you asked! I testified against Sarah. He’s dead, Hank,  _ dead _ . Nothing is going to change that!”

“He was your father.”

“That bastard is nothing to me. He just gave me half my DNA. He’s  _ nothing _ . It’s good he’s dead, he deserved to die.”

Voight sighed, having had the conversation a number of times. The results were always the same. She always got angry. “Erin, if you go to work, you’re going to do desk work.”

“I’m okay. I can work. I know I can. I can really work.”

“Erin, desk work or nothing at all.”

Erin sighed and nodded. She knew there was nothing she could do to get him to change his mind. She nodded and left to get ready for work.

**Chicago PD**

The drive was silent. Erin was quiet, a little angry. She wanted to go back to work, but he wouldn’t let her. He told her if she got a therapist, or talked about what happened, he would let her.

Erin walked up the stairs and smiled when her team turned to her. She walked to her desk and sat there.

“Hey,” Halstead said, as he walked to her desk. “You back.”

Erin looked at him and gave him a smile. “I’m stuck on desk duty.”

Halstead nodded. “How are you? Really?”

“I’m fine,” she snapped, as she glared at him.

“I’m just trying to help,” he said, putting his hands up. His face showed thee shock he was feeling.

“I didn’t ask for your help. Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Halstead frowned, as he watched her walk away. Dawson walked up to him. “Don’t take it personally. She has a defense mechanism. She pushes people away. We just got to keep pushing.”

Halstead nodded. He sat down and stared at the desk in front of him; his partner’s desk.

Ruzek walked to the coffee room. He saw Erin sitting there, a coffee in front of her. She didn’t hear him enter.

“Hey, we haven’t spoken in a while,” he said, as he sat down in front of her. Erin looked up at him but didn’t say anything. He gave her a small smile. “You know, when I shot that guy during my first job. I said I was okay. I told people it didn’t affect me, but it did. I talked about it, and I felt better. Talking about it helped me. Maybe it’ll help you too.”

Erin stared at him. Her face showed no emotion.   
“C’mon Lindsay, tell me something,” Ruzek said, as he grabbed her hand.

She moved hers and stood up. She turned her back to him and threw her untouched coffee into the garbage can.

“You know what, I’ll tell you something,” she said, as she gave him a small smile. He looked at her, hopeful. “You can piss off.”

Ruzek’s eyes widened. He watched Erin walk away and storm into Voight’s office. She slammed the door shut. Ruzek walked out of the room he was in. Olinsky, Dawson, and Halstead all stared at him. Halstead was glaring at him.

Voight walked out of the room and closed the door behind him. He looked at the other men. He placed a picture on the white board. It was for a new job they had to do, now that they had found Erin. They started to work on the case.

Erin sat in Voight’s room. Her head was in her hands. She rubbed her eyes.

“I’m okay. I deserve this. I can’t do anything. I need this,” Erin whispered, as she sat there.

**Chicago PD**

Voight and the team had returned after they had made the arrests. Platt stopped Voight to tell him something. She told him that Erin had left. Kelly Severide had found her at a bar. He took her home. He called to tell them Erin was okay.

Voight nodded and left to get his things ready. He then left to Erin’s apartment. Severide was still there. He had opened the door. He let Voight in.

“Thank you,” he said, when he saw Erin asleep on the couch. He could smell the alcohol radiating off of her.

“It’s fine. She looked like she was having a hard time. I assumed she needed to go home, so I brought her here.”

“She’s staying with me.”

Severide nodded. “If she needs anything, just tell her to call me. She helped with my sister, I’ll repay her back anyway.”

Voight nodded, knowing about the case. Erin was close with some of the Fire House workers, and they were also willing to help her out. He wondered if he could use that to help her.

Severide started to head out, after Voight thanked him one more time. After the fireman left, Voight went back to Erin and sat down on the small table in front of the couch.

“What’s going on Erin,” he whispered. He watched as she slept the alcohol away. He wondered if it was just the beginning.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin stumbled into the house. She giggled softly at herself. She tripped and fell onto her knees. She slowly got up, and the lights turned on. Her eyes widened and she saw Voight standing there, angry. _

_ “Do you know how late it is?” he asked, his arms crossed in front of him. _

_ “No,” Erin answered, slurring a little. _

_ “Are you drunk?” _

_ “No.” _

_ Voight sighed. “We need to talk,” he said, as he pointed at the chair in front of her. _

_ She sat down in front of him, and gave him a drunken innocent smile. _

_ “You can’t do this Erin. I brought you here so you can have a better life,” he told her. _

_ “I’m screwed up. You can’t help me. That’s why my dad left. That’s why my mom gave up on me. I’m not worth it,” she told him, looking at a spot in front of her. _

_ “I don’t know why your dad left. And your mom gave up on herself. Erin, you helped support your mother. You were worth much more. I see it, my wife sees it, and even Justin sees it. You just have to realize it.” _

_ Erin’s tears leaked out. She stood up and rushed towards Voight. “I’m sorry I keep messing up.” _

_ He rubbed her back. “It’s okay. I’m here to help you.” _

_ “Thank you for not giving up on me.” _

_ “Never.” _

 


	17. I’m a Slow Dying Flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song Title: My Skin by Natalie Merchant

 

“This is bull crap and you know it,” Erin snapped, as she glared at Voight. He had told her she couldn’t go back to work, and if she did, she would need to continue doing deskwork, and it was starting to annoy her. She didn’t want to work from the desk. She wanted to go back out there, and really work.

“Erin, we made a deal. You’ll go back to work when you get help,” her adopted father told her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off and stormed out of the room. She was  _ not _ happy. She went to her car and left, angry at the world.

She drove to the one place that she spent half her time in. She was pretty sure that the workers knew her name.

**Chicago PD**

Voight watched her go, unsure of what to do. He knew she wanted to go to work, but he didn’t want out there with her head screwed on wrong. He knew she would freeze up. He knew she was repressing everything she was feeling. 

If she was anything like him, she was punished herself. She probably thought she deserved to deal with alone, but he didn’t know for sure. He didn’t know if that was really what she was feeling. 

He sighed and got ready for work. He was going to be there, but he couldn’t help her if she didn’t go to him.

**Chicago PD**

“Erin, please,” Halstead asked, as he sat next to her. She had called him to the bar, not wanting to be alone for a while. She was arguing with Voight more, and with the whole team. She was pushing everyone away. She was drinking more. She had called many of the men to pick her up from the bar because she was way past tipsy. She was drunk or wasted. He was worried, and he had every right to be.

“No. I’m fine. Drop it,” she sneered, as she glared at him. She picked up the shot glass and swallowed everything from the small cup.

Halstead sighed, as the bartender placed a new cup in front of Erin. Halstead felt sick to his stomach, as he watched the woman that held his heart slowly destroyed her life.

“Gota work,” she slurred, as she pointed to the door.

He didn’t want to go, but he had to. “Call me if you want me to drive you home. Call one of us,” he told her, as he stood up. He walked to the door, and left, hoping Erin would be safe.

**Chicago PD**

“ _ Murder. You killed me, and you liked it. My  _ blood _ is in your hands. You pushed me away. I just wanted you in my life, but you  _ killed _ me. _ ”

Erin’s eyes stared at the cup, unfocused. She had lost how count of the cups she had drunk. She signaled for another one. She wanted to numb her emotions, numb her guilt. She noticed someone sit next to her. The woman smiled at her, and showed her a small vile. Erin gave her a drunken smile and nodded. The woman led her to a special room.

**Chicago PD**

“How’s Erin?” Halstead questioned, as he stood in front of Dawson’s desk. The older man shrugged. He hadn’t heard from her in days. She stopped going to work. She disappeared again, and Voight was worried. The only person who knew about Erin’s disappearance was Dawson. The two men didn’t want to worry the others, so they told them Erin was taking time off the deal with the kidnapping.

“She’s doing better,” he said, as he looked at his desk. He didn’t want to lie to Halstead, especially that he knew that Halstead would do anything for Erin.

Halstead narrowed his eyes. “You’re lying.”

“She’s missing,” he whispered, looking at the desk. He didn’t want to see the heartbroken look on his face.

“Wh-what do you mean she’s missing?” he asked, a hint of anger in his voice. He was annoyed that he didn’t know about Erin missing. “How long?”

“She left Voight’s house a few days, and she hasn’t returned. She calls Voight once a day,” he answered, making sure Voight was not around.

“Why don’t you track her phone?” Halstead questioned, frowning. His legs itched to start moving. He was ready to go and look for her.

“She’s not stupid. She uses different payphones,” Dawson answered, as he stood up. He signaled Halstead to follow him. “We’re going for a drive. We’ll talk more about this in the car.”

**Chicago PD**

Atwaters and Burgess were driving around. They got a call for a drunk driver, and they headed out. They ended up behind a car, a really familiar car. Burgess looked at Atwaters, and both frowned. They knew who’s the car it was. The car stopped, and Burgess got out. She walked to driver side and knocked on the window. Staring back at her was Erin Lindsay.

**Chicago PD**

Voight heard someone knock on the door. He stood up and walked to open it. He was shocked when he saw Burgess, Atwaters, and Erin standing there. He signaled for them to enter. He kept his eye on Erin, who stumbled into the room. He sighed, wondering how drunk she was.

“What happened?” he asked, staring at Erin.

Burgess answered, “DUI, sir. We thought it would be better if we brought her here. No one knows it was her.”

Voight nodded. “Thank you.”

The two police officers nodded and left. Erin and Voight stood there, standing in front of each other.

“Erin,” he started, but was cut off by her crying.

“I messed up. I’m sorry,” she cried, tears streaming down her face. Voight rushed forward and took her in his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, daddy.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispered, as he stroked her hair. He held her close, as she cried. She had finally broken down. He wondered what had happened to her.

**Chicago PD**

_ “Daddy!” Erin squealed, as her father picked up and threw her in the air. She giggled as he caught her. _

_ Colton kissed her cheek, and stared at her with love in his eyes. He loved his daughter. He would do anything for her. _

_ “I love you,” he whispered, as he placed her on the ground. _

_ “I love you too daddy,” she answered, as she pulled him to the playground. _

 


	18. So Don’t Leave Me By My Lonesome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: You'll Ask For Me by Tyler Hilton

Voight watched Erin sleep off the alcohol in her system. He knew he needed her to talk to him. She had to deal with her demons. She had to talk to him, really talk. He wasn’t going to let her pull away further.

He told Dawson that Erin was home. He told him that he wasn’t going to be in, and to be in charge for the day. Erin needed him, and he would be damned if he left her alone.

He leaned forward and started at Erin, really looked at her. She was pale; her hair had lost its shine. He believed she hit rock bottom. She had finally lost, and he was going to help her get her life back.

“I’m not going anywhere, like I promised,” he whispered, as he got up to make breakfast for them.

The moment he left the room, Erin opened her eyes. Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought of letting Voight down. She closed her eyes and willed the tears away. She needed to get better. She just had to for  _ Voight _ .

“Hey,” someone whispered, drawing Erin from her thoughts. She looked up and saw her partner standing at the door. “It’s good to have you back. When Antonio told me you were back, I just had to come here and check on you.”

Erin bit her lip, as a wave of new tears hit her. Halstead rushed to her. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just don’t run away again. You cant run from your problems,” he whispered, as he sat down on the chair Voight left behind.

“I know,” Erin whispered, looking at her hands.

Halstead slowly moved his hand and took once he got near enough, he grabbed one of her hands and intertwine their fingers together.

“Talk to me Erin,” he whispered, as Erin looked up at him. Her hazel eyes connected with his green ones.

“I killed him,” she responded, her voice was so low, Halstead hand to get closer to hear her.  “Someone was going to die, and Voight, he couldn’t die. I had to kill him, I had to kill my dad.”

“I think you have to talk to Voight. He can help you. You saved his life Erin, talk to him,” Halstead told her, as he stroked her hand with his thumb.

Erin nodded, as she started at their linked hands, unsure of what to feel. She looked up and smiled softly.

**Chicago PD**

“I haven’t been here in a while. Since I told Antonio about my attempt,” Erin commented, as she followed Voight into the restaurant.

“I thought that maybe we could talk,” he told her, wanting nothing more than Erin getting better. He had been worried while she was missing.

Erin nodded, wanting to get better too. She was tired, she was tired of feeling horrible, of having her father’s voice in her head, having him blame her.

“Erin, you can talk to me,” he whispered, as they sat down.

“I know. I just don’t want to let you down,” she whispered.

“You’ve grown so much Erin. You can never let me down.”

Erin exhaled, her eyes shining with tears. “I killed him.”

Voight nodded, but didn’t say anything. He waited for her to continue.

“I-it was either you and him. He haled make me b-but you raised me. You were the more of a father than he was. B-but I killed him, I killed my father,” she whispered, her tears streaming down her face. “I hear him, in my head. He says it’s my fault, and he’s right. He is right. I’m not a good person. I shot him, and I didn’t regret it. It should have been me who died in that house. It was my fault all that happened.”

Voight stood up and sat down next to her. He took her in his arms. She cried as he rubbed her back. He thought about the night before, when he held her like that. She wasn’t as drunk as when she came in, but she wasn’t completely sober.

_ “I’m so sorry daddy,” she cried, as her tears soaked the crook of Voight’s neck. He whispered soothing words as best as he could. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. He held her until she fell asleep in his arms. The whole time she apologized for not being strong enough, and she called him “daddy.” He liked how it made him feel, but he didn’t know if she was going to remember calling him that. _

“You’re not a bad person Erin. None of this was your fault,” he told her, as he stroked her head. “It’s not your fault, okay? It was his fault. He didn’t have to kidnap you. He didn’t have to hurt you. He could have contacted you and talk to you but he didn’t. Erin, you aren’t to blame.”

“I feel like it’s my fault.”

“It’s not. You didn’t deserve this Erin. You didn’t deserve to have him torture you.”

“He tried to shock me into remembering him,” she whispered, her voice hoarse from the crying.

Voight pulled away and looked at her. He had a frown on his face as she gave him a sad smiled. “He didn’t do it. I remembered before he could turn it on. Sarah wanted him to do it though. She wanted me dead. She was the one who hurt me. All he did was slap me.”

Voight remembered the red bruise on her cheek when they found her. He remembered feeling angry. He remembered wanting to bring Colton back from the dead just to kill him again.

“You’re not alone Erin. You got me, you got the guys and Kim. And you have your mother,” he told her.

Erin nodded and wrapped her arms around him. “Thank you daddy, for everything.”

Voight smiled and hugged her back.

**Chicago PD**

_ “Drunk driving?! Are you serious? You could have been hurt or killed!” Voight told her angrily. _

_ Erin shrugged. She didn’t say anything, just stood there in the kitchen. She wondered how many times she was going to get in trouble in the kitchen. She looked back at Voight when she noticed he was still talking. _

_ “You promised,” he told her, his glare softening. _

_ Erin nodded slowly. She remembered promising him that she was going to try hard to be a good kid. She wondered when he was going to realize that she wasn’t worth it. She was just a problem, and the faster she was back with her mom the better. _

_ “This is the fourth time this month, and the month just started,” he whispered. _

_ “M’sorry,” she slurred, her eyes darting around the room, not looking at him. _

_ “You’re not. You are just doing this so I can kick you out. I’m not going to kick you out. When are you going to realize that?” he continued when she didn’t answer. “I’m not going anywhere Erin, and neither are you.” _

_ “I keep screwing up. I’m not going to be the child you want,” she told him, sobering up a little. _

_ “I want you to be the  _ person _  you can be,” he told her. “I am going to help you when you screw up, but you have to try too.” _

_ Erin nodded, as she wiped the tears in her eyes. He told her to go to bed, and that they will talk about punishment in the morning. She hugged him when she passed by. He watched her walk to her room, wondering if it was finally going to get better. _

_ He was right. _


	19. Could I Have Saved You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Blue Skies by Strays Don't Sleep

 

“How are you?” Halstead asked when Erin entered the office a few days after her talk with Voight. She had spent some time thinking about everything, about shooting her father, protecting Voight, and all the mistakes she did after that. She pushed everyone away, everyone that tried to help her.

She looked up and stared into Halstead’s eyes. “Better.”

He smiled and placed his hand on her shoulder. His eyes stayed connected with Erin’s hazel eyes, trying to see if she was lying, she wasn’t. “Good.”

“Erin, good to have you back,” Dawson said from behind her. She turned and walked into his open arms. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed.

“M’sorry,” she told him, her voice muffled.

“It’s okay. Just never do that again. You have no idea how scared I was. We all were scared,” he said, as he pointed at the people around her. She looked around and saw Ruzek, Atwaters, Burgess, Olinsky, and Halstead around her. Voight was on his doorway, his arms crossed, watching them. “If you do that again, we will all hunt you down and lock you up.”

“In prison?” she questioned, as she pulled away, a smile on her face.

“That way we can’t lose you,” Ruzek answered.

“And we are going to throw away the key,” Olinsky added, grinning.

Erin giggled, as she shook her head. She didn’t know what she would do without them.

“Let’s get to work,” Voight said, walking to Erin. He placed his arm around her shoulder, and looked at her. “Glad to have you back in here.”

“Does that mean I can go out there?”

“It means, you get to do desk work,” he answered, teasingly.

Erin groaned and went to her desk.

**Chicago PD**

“Do you think I should visit my mom? I haven’t seen her in a while. I don’t want her to worry about me,” Erin told Voight, as she sat in his office. She had been bored at her desk, and decided to bother her father for a while.

He nodded. “I think that’s a good idea. Take one of the boys with you.”

“Worried I will run away again?”

Voight smiled, “We need a tighter leach on you.”

Erin laughed and walked out. She looked at Halstead and then Dawson, wondering on whom to take. She knew Dawson knew about her past, and assumed Halstead knew about it as well. She walked to Halstead’s desk and tapped her knuckles on the desk.

He looked up and smiled. “C’mon, you’re coming with me.”

“Where to?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A secret mission,” she whispered, as she placed her finger against her lips and pointed to Dawson, who was grinned.

Halstead laughed and followed her.

**Chicago PD**

Erin got out of the car, as she smiled at Halstead.  She hadn’t seen her mother in a while, a few weeks before her kidnapping. She missed her mother.

“I was raised here,” she told her partner, who wasn’t her partner while she was recuperating.

Halstead nodded as he looked around. He opened his mouth when a gun went off. The sound echoed on the walls, as he rushed to Erin and pulled her down. He looked around, and saw a young man run from a room. He was about to run after him, but he felt Erin tense. He looked down and found her staring at the door.

The moment he released her, she shot away and ran to the room. He ran after her, but she was faster. She rushed into the room, and froze. Right there, in the middle of the room was her mother.

“Mommy?” she whispered, as she walked up to her. She got her knees and placed her hand on her mothers abdominal, where the blood was oozing out-of. “Mom? Wake up mom.”

Her mother moaned softly, as she opened her eyes. She gave her daughter a small smile.

Erin looked at Halstead, with tears streaming down her face. “Call for help!”

He took out his phone and called for an ambulance. He also called Voight, knowing she would want him.

“Sweetie. I’m so proud of you,” her mother said, weakly.

“You’re going to be okay. You’re gonna be okay,” Erin whispered, as she put pressure on her wound.

“You are a beautiful woman. I was proud to be your mother,” Caroline whispered, her body feeling cold.

“Don’t give up,” Erin sobbed, as she looked at Halstead. “Where is the help?!”

“Erin, I love you,” her mother uttered, trying to breath.

“Come on mom, you can do this. You’re going to live. Don’t leave me. Please mommy, don’t leave me. I love you, stay with me, please,” she begged, as she slammed her palm on the floor.

Her mother didn’t respond. She didn’t blink. She was gone.

“NO! Mom!” Erin screamed, as tears streamed down her face. She begged and screamed for her mother. Halstead watched, tears streaming down his face at the heartbreaking scene in front of him. He didn’t know what to do. He was frozen.

“Momma, please come back,” she sobbed, as she placed her forehead on her mother’s abdominal, smearing her mother’s blood on her forehead.

She felt someone pull her back. She fought against the grip, as she tried to get back to her mother. But the person held her tight. They hugged her, placing her head against their chest. She inhaled deeply, and she knew who it was by their scent. She cried into his chest, choking on her sobs.

“She’s dead,” she told him, as she gripped his shirt.

Voight nodded, as she rubbed her head. “I know. I know.”

“She’s gone. Mom is gone,” she sobbed, clenching her eyes shut. She cried, as the paramedics and police officers worked around her. They all tried to work, as the listened to her cried, their hearts breaking. Dawson, Ruzek, Olinsky, Atwaters, Burgess, and Halstead watched with concern as Erin broke down, and her mother was covered in a white sheet.

**Chicago PD**

_ Voight stared at Caroline Lindsay, as the woman sat on the plastic chair. Erin had been brought to the hospital after cutting her veins. All the sound had woken the woman up from her drunken sleep. He watched, as she stared at the floor. He wondered what happened, what she was thinking. He didn’t know what had pushed Erin, but he was going to find out. He walked up to her and sat down next to her. _

_ “Are you okay?” he asked, his concern showing. _

_ Caroline looked at him. She didn’t know who he was. She had never seen him in his life. “I don’t know. How do you think I feel? My daughter tried to  _ kill _ herself.” _

_ Voight nodded, thinking about his son, and wondering how he would feel if Justin would try to kill himself. _

_ “Who are you?” she asked, drawing him away from his thoughts. _

_ “A friend, of your daughter.” _

_ “How did you meet her?” _

_ “I’m a cop.” _

_ Caroline looked at him in shock. She had never expected her daughter to be friends with a cop. She looked at her hands; that were folded neatly on her lap. _

_ “Ms. Lindsay, I don’t think Erin will be safe in the neighborhood,” he told her, looking at the words on the door in front of him,  _ Emergency Room _. _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ “She just tried to commit suicide. That’s saying something. She needs hope. She needs to learn to live, for herself.” _ _  
_

_ “What are you saying?” Her voice laced with confusion and anger. _

_ “I think she should come live with me and my family.” _

_ Silence. _

_ Caroline thought about what he had just said. Her daughter, her little girl had given up on life. She knew it was her fault, but she wasn’t going to lose her. _

_ “No.” _

_ “Ms. Lindsay—“ _

_ “NO!” _

_ Voight looked at her, as she started to cry, repeating  _ no _ , over and over again. _

_ “I’ll take care of her.” _

_ “NO! She’s going to stay home. She is going to be okay.” _

_ “Ms. Lindsay, she’s not going to be okay. When she- when she was dying in the restroom, you were unconscious on your couch. Let me take care of Erin; let me care for her, while you get back on your feet. She needs a mother. She needs guidance. She needs you, but you have to be one hundred percent well.” _

_ “You’ll take care of her?” she asked, looking at Voight with sad eyes. _

_ He nodded. “As if she were my own child.” _

_ “Okay, for her, because I don’t want her to end up like me. You’ll let her know that I love her.” _

_ “You can always visit.” _

_ She smiled, as she looked at Voight. “Take good care of her. She’s all I have. She is my baby, and she will always be.” _

 


	20. I’m a Danger, I’m a Cipher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Curbstomp by Meg Myers

 

Erin sat in a plastic chair, staring at the floor under her. Voight was sitting next to her, holding her hand. His team sat around her, quietly. They were all silently watching her, waiting for her to react, to see some sort of emotion from her.

The paramedics couldn’t do anything about what had happened. They couldn’t help her mother; they couldn’t bring her back to life. She was gone, and Erin had shut down. Everything Voight worked for was gone. He had finally gotten her open up, to deal with her father’s death, but then her mother died. Her mother died in front of her, just like her father.

Erin looked up at Voight with dead eyes. The light that was there that morning was gone. There was nothing there. She was destroyed.

There were so many things going through Erin’s head. She was thinking about her father, who she killed. Her mother, who died in her arms. About Sarah, who tortured her. Voight, who raised her. Halstead who was there when her mother died. So many things in her head. So many bad. She wanted it to stop. She wanted the pain to stop.

Erin stood up and walked away. Her friends and family watched her go, not sure what to do. They didn’t know how to help her, not after watching what she went through with her father. They wondered how much pain she had to go through. How many times her heart had to break before it was over.

Halstead stood up and walked out the room, after Erin. Voight watched him, but didn’t say anything. If Jay Halstead could help Erin, he would let the detective try. Anything to keep Erin from going through what she had just went through.

Halstead found her sitting on the floor of a hall. She had her arms wrapped around her legs, her face buried on her knees. Halstead walked up to her and sat down next to her. He wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her arm. He didn’t say anything. He just rubbed her arm, keeping him close.

Erin’s body shook, as she tried to keep herself from crying. She tried to show no emotion, but it was not working. She slowly broke down, moving her body so she was gripping Halstead’s shirt. She sobbed into his chest, as he wrapped his arms around her, keeping her close.

“It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, his eyes shining with unshed tears. It hurt him. It hurt him to see Erin like that.

Erin shook her head. “She’s gone. My mom is dead,” she sobbed, her voice muffled.

“I know. I’m sorry, but Erin, you’re not alone. We are all here with you. We are going to help you. Voight will help you, okay? You promised us you weren’t going to push us away. You can’t push us away,” he told her, trying to sooth her.

“It hurts so much,” she told him, as she pushed her body against him.

Halstead nodded and kept her close. He waited until she was calm. Once she was calm, and silent, he picked her up and took her to his car and drove her home.

**Chicago PD**

Erin sat on her bed, staring at a photograph in her hand. It was the last picture she had of herself with her mother. Before her mother started drinking. Before Erin went down the dark road. Tears were streaming, as she stared at her mother’s eyes.

Voight knocked on the door before entering. He walked up to Erin and sat down next to her. He didn’t say anything, not wanting to hurt Erin. But he needed answers. He needed to find Caroline’s murderer, for Erin, for himself, for Caroline.

“Kill him,” she whispered, looking at Voight with anger and hatred in her eyes. “Make him pay, for mom.”

“We’ll find him,” he promised Erin, gripping her arm. “Do-do you know anyone who would want to hurt your mother?”

Erin shook her head. “I want him to die. I don’t know who, but kill him.”

Voight didn’t answer, but he moved to hug Erin. “She was proud of you. She loved you, don’t forget that.”

Erin nodded, as she took in his scent. Her last parental figure. The last person she had.

She knew Voight was not going to kill him, but she was going to find out who it killed her mother, and she was going to kill him. She was going to put a bullet in him just like he did to her mother. He was not going to get away with what he did.

**Chicago PD**

Voight had many pictures in front of him. Halstead has seen the murderer, and they got a videotape of the man running from the room.

“He shot her. I saw him run from the room,” Halstead told Voight, as he pointed at the picture. He remembered the face, although it was a little blurry. He didn’t know who it was. He had never met or heard of the man. “Who is it?”

“Some one we talked to when we looking for Erin,” Voight answered, looking into his office to see Erin sitting on his chair. He didn’t want to leave her out of his sight, not after last time. Voight sent out a message to Jin to search the man. He wanted to know the connection. Why the guy would kill Erin’s mother.

Jin rushed to them, out of breath a few minutes later. “Ethan Larson,” he started, trying to catch his breath before continuing, “he is the son of Sarah Palmer and Colton Larson. He’s Erin’s half-brother.”

All their eyes widened, as they turned to Erin Lindsay who had her eyes closed in Voight’s office.

**Chicago PD**

_ Seven-year-old Erin looked at her mother with excited eyes. She had seen her friend with her baby sister, and she wanted a brother or sister. She wanted someone to play with. _

_ “Mommy, I want a little brother, or a little sister,” Erin told her mother, a smile on her face. _

_ Caroline Lindsay’s eyes widened, as she thought of a way to answer the question. She bent down and looked into Erin’s eyes. “Erin, I can’t have children.” _

_ Erin frowned. “How about Daddy?” _

_ Caroline didn’t respond. For all she knew he could have five kids, but she couldn’t tell Erin that. She just looked at her daughter and answered truthfully. _

_ “Daddy left us Erin. He’s not coming back.” _

_ Erin frowned, before rushing to hug her mother. “You’re not leaving me right? I won’t ask for a brother or sister. I won’t ask, just don’t leave me.” _

_ “I’ll never leave you.” _

 


	21. There is Nothing I Do Better Than Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song Title: Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift

Ethan stared at the gun in front of him. The gun he used on his half-sister’s mother. He wanted revenge. He wanted his sister see what it was like to lose a parent. Ethan lost his parents, his father who’s dead, and his mother who is in prison. Ethan got Erin’s mother, but he still had to kill Voight.

He couldn’t visit his mother to know who exactly killed his father, but he was sure it was Voight. He knew Voight was jealous of Colton. He was jealous that Colton was Erin’s real father, so he killed Colton. Colton just wanted to see his daughter. He just wanted to bond with her. 

Ethan had promised his father he would get his sister back when he was a teenager. He had been in his older sister’s life, but Erin didn’t know who he was. She didn’t know who he was. She didn’t know she had a little brother. 

Maybe she did, his father probably told her. He hoped he told her, he wanted to spend time with his sister. He wanted to catch up. He hoped she forgave him for killing her mother, but she had to understand it was an eye for an eye. He had to do it. He had to make her lose a parent. And now, that had something in common. They had something to bond over.

“Soon, sister, soon we’ll be together,” he whispered, as he stared at the picture his father had taken at her graduation. He thought back to the conversation he had with Caroline Lindsay.

_ Ethan was waiting at the door. He had knocked, and was waiting for someone to open it. A woman did, Erin’s mother did. She gave him a welcoming smile, and Ethan tried to return in. _

_ “May I help you?” Caroline asked, politly. _

_ “Yes, I wanted to speak to you about a detective that went missing? I think you knew her?” _

_ Caroline’s eyes widened, as she opened her door to let him in. “Erin? Was she found? Please tell me my little girl is safe.” _

_ Ethan clenched his fists. “She’s fine. She was found a few weeks ago. You didn’t know that? I would assume her mother would be the first one to know about it,” he whispered, mot making eye contact with her. _

_ Caroline sighed, happy her daughter was safe. She was okay. But it hurt, to know that her daughter hadn’t visited her. Her daughter hadn’t thought to let her know that she was okay and safe. _

_ “I heard the cop killed her captor. Voight, I believe,” Ethan continued, watching her expression. He watched a small smile appear on her face. _

_ “He’ll protect her. That bastard deserve it,” she spat out, angry. _

_ “He deserved to die for wanted to see his daughter? His only daughter?” _

_ “Yes, there were other ways for him to see her. There were other ways for him to try to be in her life. I would have let him, but he wanted her to himself. He was selfish, to take her away from her life. To probably hurt her.” _

_ Ethan was angry. He had enough. He got his gun and aimed it at Caroline. Her eyes widened, as she stared at him. _

_ “That  _ bastard _ is  _ my _ father too! And he died there, all because you wouldn’t let him see my sister. You deserve to die as well. You think I don’t know about you? I don’t know how you’d stay home to drink and make Erin put food on the table? How you verbally abused her? That Voight had to take her away from you? I know, and you’re no better. At least my dad wanted Erin. At least her tried to fight for her,” Ethan told her, his hands shaking with anger. He looked at her as he pulled the trigger. He watched her go down, a smile on his face. He rushed out of the room. In the corner of his eye, he saw his sister. He wished it were someone else that found the body, but he couldn’t change that. _

_ He stopped at the end of the hall, as he looked at the opened door. _

“Call for help!” _ he could hear her crying in there. It was for the best. He knew it was for the best. It had to be done. _

“I’m sorry big sister, but I had to be done,” he whispered to the picture in his hand. “But soon, it’ll be me and you against the world. No one will keep us apart any longer. I just need to finish my revenge.”

**Chicago PD**

“What are we going to tell her?” Dawson asked, frowning. He looked at Voight’s office, to see Erin staring at a picture on Voight’s office.

“You are not going to tell her anything. I will,” Voight told the detectives.

They all nodded, while Halstead stared at Erin, who looked up and gave him a small smile.

**Chicago PD**

Voight watched Erin. It had been twenty-four hours since they had found out who had killed her mother, and he still hasn’t told her. He didn’t know how to tell her, without breaking her.

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile. “Promise you’ll be okay. I can’t lose you too.”

His heart broke when he saw the hopeful look in her eyes. “I promise.”

Erin’s smile grew as she nodded. She knew then started to eat.

Voight stared at her, not having the heart to tell he. He ate, wanting to wait to tell Erin about her half-brother.

**Chicago PD**

_ Colton and his son were in the park. Five-year-old Ethan sat next to her father. His father was watching a girl. The girl looked twice his age. She was with her mother. _

_ “Who’s that dad?” Ethan asked, smiling. _

_ “She is your sister,” Colton answered, not looking away from the girl. _

_ Ethan’s eyes widened, as he looked back at the girl. “Why doesn’t she live with us?” _

_ “She lives with her mother.” _

_ Ethan was confused. “We don’t have the same momma?” _

_ Colton shook his head. “Her mother, that woman with Erin, took her from me. She took your sister.” _

_ “Will we get her back?” _

_ “We will,” his father answered, a smile growing on his face. _


	22. Like the Hole That Was Left in Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Let me Go by Avril Lavigne feat. Chad Kroeger

Ethan stared at the ceiling. He had a smile on his face. He had his plan all set up. He was going to get  _ Hank Voight _ . Make him pay for what he did to his family. He was the one who ruined his father’s original plan. He was the one who took Erin from her home, from her mother. He sat up, ready to set his plan in motion.

**Chicago PD**

“You’re looking good,” Halstead commented, as he watched Erin walk to her desk.

“Yeah, I don’t think my mom would want me to swallow in pity. She would want me to move on with my life, and be happy,” Erin answered, as she sat down in front of him.

“Its good to have you back. I missed you,” he told her, as he stared at her.

“I missed being her. I’ve been gone for too long,” she told him, smiling.

“So I was wondering if you would want go get drinks with me,” he asked, smiling.

“I’d love to,” she responded, a tint of red on her cheeks.

Halstead nodded, as he looked down, hiding his blushing cheeks.

Voight watched, not liking what he was hearing, but deciding to let it happen, because that was the first time Erin had a real smile in some time. He had missed that, and he was sure Halstead would help get her back to her normal, strong self.

**Chicago PD**

Voight got a phone call that night. In his phone, it said it was from Erin. He answered it.

“Hello?” he asked in his gruffly voice.

“ _ Henry Voight. It’s a pleasure to finally talk to you _ ,” a voice said. Voight could hear muffled screams in the background. He had a bad feeling at the pit of his stomach. He knew, deep down who that was.

“What do you want?” he demanded.

“ _ I want you to come to me _ ,” the man ordered, as he gave him an address. 

Voight clenched his teeth. He hung up the phone and changed. He rushed out and drove to the address. He stopped in front of a house he wished he wouldn’t have to see again. He knew it must hurt Erin to be in the house.

He entered the house, with the gun in his hand. He looked around. He saw a figure in the middle of the room. They were sitting on a chair. He rushed over, when he noticed it was Erin. He carefully took off the tape.

“Get out of here, he wants to kill you,” Erin told him, as Voight worked to take to tape off her wrists.

Voight shook his head. “I’m not going to leave you. I promised your mother I would keep you safe, and I’m not going to break that promise anytime soon.”

“Too bad she’ll have to leave you,” a voice said from behind.

Voight stood up and aimed the gun at the man. Erin bent down to pull the tape off her ankles. Ethan stood there, the gun aimed at Voight.

Erin stood up and stared at the man. She glared at him, but didn’t get in the way. She didn’t have a weapon, and she couldn’t help.

Voight glared at him as well. He wondered if Erin knew who he was. He wondered how he got her.

Ethan smiled, as he aimed the gun at Erin. Voight and Erin froze, not sure if Ethan would shoot her or not.

“Put the gun down, or she dies,” Ethan ordered, as he pressed the trigger.

Voight put the gun down, and then stood up straight, with his hands up. Ethan then moved to Voight, aiming the gun at him. He laughed, as he watched Voight. He gets ready to pull the trigger, but Erin tackles him down. They fight for the gun. Voight got his gun. He couldn’t shoot, because there was a big chance he could hit Erin.

A gun went off. Erin and Ethan looked at each other. Neither of them looked hurt. She looked over, and saw Voight on the ground. She gasped, as she stood up and ran to him. She had tears streaming down her face.

“C’mon, be okay,” she whispered, as she pressed her hand on the wound.

Voight groaned. Erin got his hands and put them over his wound. She got the gun and aimed it at Ethan.

Voight gasped, as he tried to put pressure on his wound. Erin looked back, then at the man in front of her. She gripped the gun tighter, ready to shoot him.

“You’re not going to shoot me,” he said, smiling.

“Why not?” Erin asked, frowning. She wondered why he thought that. Why he assumed she wouldn’t shoot him like he shot her father.

“Cause, I’m all you have left,” he told her, as he let his arms release at his sides.

Erin didn’t answer, not trusting him. “Who are you?”

“I’m Ethan Larson, I’m your half brother Erin. I’m your last blood relative. And you have to choose, me or him,” he responded, as he raised the gun again and aimed it at Voight.

Erin’s eyes widened. She stared at her younger brother, and at her father. She felt like crying, because she didn’t want to lose anyone else. She knew she had a choice to make.

**Chicago PD**

_ A small boy walked up to a girl five years older than him. She smiled at him, as he looked at her with bright eyes. _

_ “Can you help me?” he asked, as his grip on his backpack got tighter. She nodded as he sat down in front of her. “Okay, I have to interview a stranger.” _

_ She nodded for him to continue. _

_ “What is your name?” _

_ “Erin Lindsay.” _

_ “Age?” _

_ “Fourteen.” _ _   
_

_ “Parents?” _

_ “Just my mom. My dad left us when I was small.” _

_ “What is one thing you wish for?” _

_ Erin sat there, thinking about what to say. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to wish for. She looked at the boy before answered. “I’d like to meet my dad. Ask him a few things, like why he left. If it was because of me.” _

_ The boy nodded, as he wrote that down. He looked up at her and told her he was done. “And by the way, your dad probably loved you, and still does. Maybe he didn’t have a choice.” _

_ Erin smiled, as she watched him get up. He started to walk away, but Erin called him. He turned around, waiting for whatever she wanted. _

_ “What’s your name?” _

_ He looked at her and smiled. “Ethan Larson.” _


	23. Lost, Lost, Lost My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Runaway by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

 

Erin stared at the two people in front of her. She had to make the choice between her brother, and her father. She had tears in her eyes as she stared at him.

“Who’s it going to be Erin?” Ethan asked, as he looked at her. He raised his eyebrow, challenging her to make a choice. She looked at the two of them.

“I-I can’t. Please don’t make me do this,” Erin whispered, as she pleaded with her eyes. Her hands were shaking, as she kept the gun on Ethan.

“Do you remember me?” Ethan asked, as he smiled at Erin. He looked innocent, charming. He had the dimpled smile too.

Erin shook her head. She never remembered meeting him before.

“I’ve met you a few times.  _ Dad _ told me all about you. He made sure I knew about my big sister. I know everything about you Erin. I know about your attempted suicide. I know about Josh. When you moved in with  _ him _ . I knew  _ everything _ .”

Erin watched him. She was frowning. She closed her eyes.  _ My family is crazy _ .

“Ethan, we don’t have to do this. We can just get out of here and talk. No one was to get hurt,” Erin told him, plead.

Ethan chuckled. “No one gets hurt? Isn’t that too late?”

Erin groaned. “Please, I don’t want to do something I don’t have to.”

Ethan grinned. “C’mon big sister, you have to choose. Me, your brother. Or  _ him? _ And before you decided. I want you to know that  _ he _ took you from us. It was because of him you weren’t with us. Dad was ready to take you in. He was going to get you, but  _ that bastard _ got in the way. He kept us away. We couldn’t be a real family because of him. And he has to pay for that.”

“Colton—“

“Dad!”

“He’s  _ not _ my father. This man that you are threatening is more of a father than Colton ever was. He lost me the second he walked out on me and my mom.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Ethan told her, frustration in his voice.

“He chose to cheat. He chose to walk away.”

“You’re  _ bitch _ of a mother kicked him out.”

“And that was your mom’s fault.”

Ethan, angry, moved the gun so it was aiming his sisters.

“Shut up! You’re mother, that man, poisoned you!”

“Your father poisoned you,” Voight told Ethan, as he groaned in pain.

Erin shot him a worried look. Ethan moved the gun back to Voight.

“Shut up,” Ethan demanded, as he glared at the sergeant. He then turned his attention to Erin. “Blood or water?”

Erin’s head spun, as she looked between Voight and Ethan. Her heart started to beat quicker. Her hands got sweaty, as she looked between Ethan and Voight.

“Make a choice. He’s dying, and the longer you stay here, the closer he gets to death,” Ethan whispered, as he smirked. “The clock is ticking big sister.”

Her tears stung in her eyes.

“Ethan, please I can’t lose anyone else. I’ve most enough family, I can’t lose any other family member.”

“I’m your family.”

Erin shook her head. She gripped the gun tighter. She watched as Ethan walked to her.

“You know, when my dad told me I had a big sister, I was so happy. I was so angry when I found out about Josh, about you relationship with him.”

“You and Colton knew about Josh. You guys knew what he did to me. You guys knew he beat me, he made me do drugs. He raped me! He abused me! You and Colton did nothing? He let Josh do all those things! And Hank was the one who protected me. He stopped him from hurting me!”

Ethan stared at her. He had a small look on his face. “We’re sorry.”

“I don’t  _ care _ . It showed me how much I mattered to him. How much he  _ loved _ me.”

“You did Erin. You were his life.”

Erin’s eyes widened. “I was his life?” She laughed, humorlessly. “If I mattered to him, he wouldn’t have hurt me. He wouldn’t have left me!”

Ethan watched her, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry we couldn’t protect you.”

“Please, Ethan, don’t do this. Don’t make me choose.”

Ethan seemed to contemplate it. But then he shook his head. ‘Time is up Erin. Choose now.”

Erin’s finger twitched on the trigger. She watched as Ethan turned away and gripped the gun tighter. She watched his finger tighten around the trigger.

“Ethan,” Erin whispered, as she frowned. Her tears slowly clouded her eyesight. Ethan shook his head.

Erin closed her eyes when she heard a gun go off.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin smiled, as she watched Justin. Voight sat down next to her. _

_ “I always wanted to be a little brother,” Erin commented, as she stared at her surrogated brother. _

_ “You’re a good sister. Because of you, he sees how someone’s life can change. You turned everything around,” he told her, as he wrapped his arm around her. _

_ “When I saw smaller, I begged my mom for a little brother or sister. I never thought I would never get one.” _

_ “Now you have one,” Voight whispered. _

_ Erin grinned, as she looked at her  _ father figure _. _

_ “I like it here. I like your family. I finally feel like I belong somewhere.” _

_ Voight looked at her. He gave her a kiss on her temple. “Erin, you’ve always belonged here. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their a family.” _

_ Erin smiled, as Justin ran to her and pulled to up. He asked her if she wanted to play with him. Erin nodded Justin kicked the ball to her and she kicked it back. _

_ Voight watched Erin and Justin play one-on-one soccer, a smile on his face. He looked back, to see his wife watching the two play. Camille looked at him, as she nodded. _

_ Voight knew he made the right choice. He knew that Erin was going to be perfect in their family. _

 


	24. I Thought I Could Fly, So Why Did I Drown?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Down by Jason Walker feat. Molly Reed

 

Erin watched as her half-brother fall down. She let her arms down. She felt numb. Her mind went to a few months before. She remembered watching her father fall down the same way.

She made her choice. She chose Hank. She let her blood die.

Erin, slowly walked to Voight. She placed her hand over his wound and called for help.

She sat there, while she waited for the ambulance. She looked up when she heard Shay and Gabby Dawson enter. They rushed to them. Shay moved to Voight, to stabilize him. Gabby Dawson looked Erin over. 

“I’m okay. It’s not my blood,” Erin whispered, as she pushed Gabby away.

“Are you sure?”

Erin slowly nodded. “I’m fine. Just make sure Hank’s okay. Please.”

Erin couldn’t lose him. If she lost him, she didn’t know what she would do.

“He’ll be fine. I promise,” Gabby told the detective.

Erin nodded, and followed them out. Other policemen, Erin didn’t remember how or when they got there, and checked out the body.

**Chicago PD**

Erin paced in the hospital. She had been waiting there for hours. Voight was in surgery. Erin hadn’t gone home to change. She hadn’t washed her hands from the blood.

She started to rub her hands. She felt dirty. She heard footsteps, and looked over. She saw Dawson and Halstead walking over to her.

“What happened?” Dawson asked, as he walked to Erin. Halstead was standing behind him, a worried look on his face.

“Voight was shot,” Erin told them, as she stared at her blood-covered hands.

“Do you know who it was? Did you catch him?” Halstead asked, taking a step forward.

Erin shook her head, and took a step back. “He’s dead.”

Halstead and Dawson shot each other a look.

“Who’s dead? The shooter? Did you find out who it was?” Dawson asked, frowning.

Erin didn’t know that Dawson and Halstead knew about her half brother, but she couldn’t tell them. She just couldn’t.

“The shooter is dead. I-I didn’t know who he was,” Erin lied, as she turned her attention back to the blood oh her hands. She started to rub them, trying to get rid of the blood.

Halstead walked up to her.

He grabbed her hands, causing her to look at him.

“Are you okay?”

Erin looked at him, her eyes hollow. She gave him a broken smile. “I’m fine. We should worry about Hank.”

Halstead frowned. “Erin, don’t shut us out, he’s going to be okay.”

“I’m okay.”

“Erin,” Dawson whispered, as he took a step towards her.

“I’m fine!” Erin snapped, as she glared at them. She stormed away.

**Chicago PD**

Erin didn’t know how long she was in the restroom, washing her hands. Her hands had been rubbed raw.

She slowly walked to the waiting room, when Dawson and Halstead saw her. They told her that Voight was awake and he wanted to see her. Erin nodded and walked to Voight’s room. She saw him, lying down. She slowly walked to the chair next to him. She didn’t know what to say.

Voight watched her. He knew that she was never going to be the same. “Erin.”

Erin didn’t say anything. She just looked at him, not sure what to say.

“Erin, I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“You’re alive, why are you sorry?”

“You lost your father. You lost your brother, because of me. My life was on the line both of the times, and you had to choose who got to live.”

Erin shrugged. She didn’t want to answer. She just wanted to go home and sleep. She just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up.

“If you need to talk, you can talk to me.”

Erin smiled. Voight knew it was fake. “I’m fine. He was just a guy who kidnapped me. It didn’t matter.”

“Erin,” Voight whispered, worry in his face. He was worried.

“I have to go home. I’ll visit tomorrow, I promise,” she told him, as she stood up. She kissed his forehead and walked out.

**Chicago PD**

Dawson and Halstead walked into her room. They watched as Erin left. She ignored them. Worried, they went to Voight’s room, wanting answers.

“Who did this? Erin won’t tell us anything,” Dawson said, looking at his boss.

Voight had a sad look on his face. It worried Dawson and Halstead even more.

“Voight, who did this?” Halstead questioned.

Voight looked at them. “Ethan shot me. She killed him. Erin killed her brother.”

**Chicago PD**

Erin smashed her hand against a mirror. She watched as cracks appeared around her fist. She stumbled back until her back was against the wall. She slipped down. Tears were streaming down her face, she keeping her fist close to her chest.

Erin took a deep breath, and stood up. She walked to her kitchen, and opened the refrigerator. She looked inside. She grabbed the bottle of liquor inside. She opened the bottle, having never touched it. She didn’t get a cup. She sat on her chair. She stared at nothing. She took a deep breath and drank out of the bottle. Wanting to feel numb, wanting to feel nothing. She eyes the knife next to her. The tears in her eyes fresh.

**Chicago PD**

_ Voight had searched her room, but she wasn’t inside. Quickly, he searched the house. He found her sitting on the room. Her window had easy access to the roof. _

_ She sitting there, staring at her bandaged wrists. He climbed towards her and sat down next to her. He knew it was hard for her. It was her first night, since her suicide. It was her first night away from home. _

_ Voight pulled her close to her. He could tell she had been crying. “Why didn’t she want me?” _

_ “She loved you Erin. She loved you so much.” _

_ “Then why didn’t fight for me?” Erin cried. _

_ Voight didn’t answer. He just held her close. “She wanted you to have a good life, to do something for yourself. She wanted you to grow into a wonderful woman. And Erin, she did love you. She didn’t want you to leave.” _

_ Erin shook her head. She just cried. _

_ “My family didn’t want me. Mom and Dad, they didn’t care.” _

_ Voight knew she wasn’t listening. She was too emotional to listen to reason. “I want you. My family wants you. You can be a part of our family.” _

_ Erin looked at him. She slowly nodded. _

_ “Now lets get out of here. There is a tub of ice cream calling our names,” Voight told her. _

_ Erin smiled as she followed him. She felt wanted, but there was still an empty space in her heart. She wondered if she would ever fill it. _

 


	25. And I Lost Who I Am, And I Can’t Understand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Shattered by Trading Yesterday

 

Erin looked at the three empty bottles on her kitchen table. It had been a week, and not once did she leave her house. She hadn’t visited Voight, or talked to anyone. Erin smiled. The alcohol was numbing her pain, both mentally and physically. She was running out of the alcohol.

She rubbed her face. She needed something else, something to numb her pain. She rubbed her face. She stood up and stumbled to her room. She looked through the cabinets, looking for something, anything to get rid of what she was feeling.

After her suicide attempt as a teenager, the doctor gave her a prescription for an antidepressant. She still had the pills, especially after Colton kidnapped her. She hadn’t taken it, but she knew she was going to.

She knew it was a dangerous drug, she knew it had side affects, but at the moment, she just wanted to feel nothing.

Erin took the bottle of Lexopro. She went to her kitchen, as she stared at the bottle. She hadn’t opened it yet, but she got the alcohol bottle.

She leaned her head on the table. She could hear her father’s voice.

_ It’s your fault I’m dead. This is all your fault. _

Erin whimpered, as the voice got louder. She rubbed her face. She wanted to voices to stop. She didn’t want to hear him.

_ Your family, your real family is dead, and it’s because of you. _

Erin drank some more of the alcohol. She wanted to forget.

But soon, all she could think about was her mother, her dead mother, her blood on her hands and her forehead.

Erin’s tears stung in her eyes. Her body shook. 

She remembered her mother, dead in her arms. She remembered begging her to wake up, but it didn’t happen.

Erin cried, as she drank more alcohol. She looked at the pill bottle. After a few seconds of staring at them, she grabbed it, opened it, and got one. She swallowed it, downing it with alcohol.

_ Traitor. _

“Shut up!”

_ You betrayed this family! _

“Stop!”

_ You aren’t a Lindsay. You never were! You don’t deserve to live! _

“Shut up! Stop please!” Erin cried, as she threw the bottle to the wall. “Please shut up.”

She covered her ears, trying to block out the voices, but they just got stronger. They started to scream at her, telling her she was a disappointment. Telling her that she betrayed all of them. That she was useless.

Erin pushed herself from the chair. She went to the bathroom. She grabbed the kitchen knife on the way. She sat on the toilet, staring at her wrist and the knife. She wanted the pain to end. She wanted to be free from the world.

Erin looked at the broken mirror. As her mind went back a few years.

_ Her tears wouldn’t stop. She sobbed as she stared at her reflection. She didn’t know what to think. Her mind was blank. One minute she was staring at the mirror, the next the mirror was in pieces. Her knuckle was in pain, and it was bloody but she didn’t stop it. She glared at her reflection. She thought of all the pain she had been feeling. She thought of how she didn’t deserve to live. _

_ A piece of the mirror caught her eye. She picked it up, not caring that it was cutting her palm. She moved to the bathtub and turned it on. She was in her worn world. She stopped the water and got into the tub. She gasped when the cold water touched her skin. Once she was in the tub, she brought the shard to wrist and slit it. _

Erin blinked a few times. She looked at the knife again.

_ Die. You don’t deserve to live. You chose someone over your blood. You let your blood die. _

Erin raised her hand with the knife. Her hand has trembling. She let the cold edge of the knife on her wrist. She took a deep breath and let the knife slice through her skin, She hissed, as she let the hand with the knife fall. She smiled, as she looked at the blood oozing out of the cut.

**Chicago PD**

Voight was getting out of the hospital. He was worried. He hadn’t seen Erin in a week. She hadn’t visited him, nor answered his calls. He called the first person he could think of. He knew that the person would do whatever they can to get through to her.

“ _ Are you sure? _ ”

“Yes. She may talk to you.”

“ _ I’ll do whatever I can. _ ”

“That’s all I ask. Thank Jay.”

He hoped it would be enough.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin looked at her teacher, nervously. She had been called to his classroom. She entered it and stood at the door. _

_ “You wanted to see me?” Erin whispered, as she moved into the classroom. _

_ “Yes, I wanted to talk to you about your paper,” her teacher said, as he placed the paper in front of him. He told Erin to sit down. The teenager did. _

_ Erin watched him. He moved to sit on the table, in front of Erin. “Do you remember the assignment I gave you?” _

_ Erin nodded. She did. He wanted her to write about their families. It was a difficult assignment for her. She didn’t know what to write. So she didn’t write much. _

_ Her teacher placed the paper in front of her. Erin looked down. She read the words on the paper. _

**I don’t have a family.**

_ Erin closed her eyes. She didn’t know why she did it. She didn’t know why she turned it in. _

_ “Do you want to talk about it?” _

_ Erin shook her head. “What is there to talk about?” _

_ “Erin,” he whispered. _

_ Erin took the paper and ripped it in half. She stood up. “That was a stupid paper. I-I didn’t mean to write that. I-I just didn’t-I.” Erin shook her head and just left the classroom. The teacher called her name, but she didn’t turn back. _

_ She decided not to return. She stopped going. A few weeks later, she met Voight. _


	26. You Must Return to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Return to Me by Matthew Ryans

Erin looked at the bloody wrist. She made many cuts since the first time. She didn't want a repeat of the first time. Voight found her, and she didn't want that. She wanted to be dead when she was found. She thought of the fastest way to end it. She sat up when she thought of it. A sad smile appeared on her face, as she wiped the blood from her arms.

**Chicago PD**

Halstead knocked once. He tried again when he got no answer. He tried to turn the knob, worried and scared, but it was locked. He was about to kick the door down when it opened.  
  
"Wha'r ya doin' h're?" Erin slurred, as she used the door for support.   
  
Jay frowned. He could smell the alcohol, it had hit him hard when she opened the door. "I was, um, u was worried. I thought I should to check on you. Are you drunk?"   
  
Erin glared at him. "'m fine."   
  
"Erin, you can't be doing this."   
  
"Wha' does et matt'r?" she asked, her voice filled with anger.   
  
"Because I care! We all do!"   
  
'He's lying.'   
  
"F-fuck off Jay."   
  
"Erin, please talk to us."   
  
"Wha's th're ta talk 'bout?" she asked, genuinely confused.   
  
"You're hurting yourself. By doing this. I know Erin. I know about Ethan. I know he was your brother. I know he killed your mother. I know he made you chose between him and Voight. I know you feel guilt. And that's okay. It's okay to feel bad. What's _not_ okay is you pushing people away. You need to let us help you. You need to let us in. Erin, please."   
  
"Leave me alone," she demanded.   
  
Halstead shook his head. "I can't do that."   
  
"You want me to let you in?" Erin asked, sobering up enough to sound coherent. There was still a drunken slur in her speech. She continued when she saw Halstead nod, "I _hate_ being your partner. You annoy me so much. You're a horrible partner and you make me want to quit. Is that letting you in? You know what? I don't care. Leave me the fuck alone." Erin slammed the door shut.   
  
Halstead stood there, frozen. He knew it wasn't Erin speaking to him, but he couldn't help but feel hurt by her words. He walked to his car, sending Voight a message that it was bad. Worse than her father's death, and maybe than her teenage depression.   
  
But back in the apartment, Erin was crying. She couldn't believe what she had said, she didn't mean anything, but her anger took over. She rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the last bottle of liquor in the house. She needed it after what she did. She quickly took a pill as well.   
  
Within seconds, the voices were back, but even worse. Feeding off her guilt.

**Chicago PD**

Dawson decided to try. He didn't want her to be alone. To feel the pain and be drunk by herself. He wanted her to have someone to talks to. He knocked on the door.  
  
"Wha now?" he heard as the door opened. His eyes widened as he looked at her appearance. Her hair was a total mess and had no shine. Her eyes were red and had circles under them. Her skin was pale. She sounded and looked drunk.   
  
"You need to talk to someone," Dawson told her, as he entered he'd apartment.   
  
"Not you too. 'm fine," Erin told him, annoyed.   
  
"You're drunk. And I can see the pills. You're _not_ fine."   
  
"Wha's your problem?" she snapped, glared at him.   
  
"You! Screwing up your life!" Dawson shouted, trying to get though to her.   
  
"You don't get it! You don't _feel_ what I do. You don't know anything! Stop acting like you do!" Erin shouted back, anger in her voice.   
  
"Help me understand," Dawson whispered, his eyes filling with tears. It hurt him to see her like that.   
  
"I-I can't," she told him, sounding defeated.   
  
"You can't give up," Dawson told her.   
  
Erin looked at him. "What if I already did?" She rushed to her room and locked the door.   
  
Dawson ran after her. He hit the door, but he couldn't open it. He moved back and called the one person who could help her. He just hoped it wouldn't be too late.

**Chicago PD**

Voight rushed to Erin's apartment. He didn't care about this wound. The only thing he cared about as Erin's safely. And Dawson's call had worried him.  
  
He stormed into the apartment. He told Dawson to call his sister and her partner. They were the only people he trusted with Erin, and the only ones, with the exception of his squad, Atwaters, and Burgess to know about what was happening.   
  
He used his spare key to get into the bedroom. He froze. Dawson froze behind him.   
  
Erin was on her bed. The alcohol bottle, empty, in front of her. She was crying. In her hand, was her gun. The barrel aligned with her temple.   
  
"Erin," he whispered, as he took a step forward. He had tears in his eyes as he stared at his daughter with a gun to her head.   
  
Erin looked up in surprise. "S-stop."   
  
Voight shook his head. "Erin, put the gun down, please."   
  
"I-I need to do this, Hank. This is my punishment," she whispered, as she looked up at him.   
  
"You don't need to do this Erin. You don't have to be punished," Hank said. He took a step towards her.   
  
"Stop!" Voight could see her finger tremble over the trigger. Voight stopped and put his hands up. "This is all my fault! Three people are _dead_ because of me! I don't have a family because of me!"   
  
"You have me Erin. You have Antonio, Jay, the team." Voight looked back and saw Shay and Gabby Dawson. Both seemed ready to cry.   
  
Erin shook her head. "Not Jay. I lost him."   
  
"Erin, don't do this. You don't have to do this. Let me help you."   
  
"It's too late Hank," she said in a tired voice.   
  
"It's not too late!"   
  
Erin nodded, slowly. "You can't save me."   
  
"I can try."   
  
Erin let out a sob. She pressed the barrel of the gun to her head.   
  
"Erin, your mother wouldn't want this for you."   
  
Erin blinked a few times, as if coming out of a dream. She turned her head and looked at the gun. She let her hand fall to the bed. She looked at Voight, lost.   
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her body shaking as she started to cry again.   
  
Voight rushed to the bed and took her into his arms. She pressed her face against his chest. He stroked her hair. She kept apologizing.   
  
"We're going to get you help, okay?" He whispered into her ear.   
  
He felt Erin nod. He looked up and saw the Dawson siblings holding each other. Shay was holding Gabby's hand.   
  
Voight panicked when he felt Erin to limb in his arms.   
  
Shay and Gabby rushed to her. She found the cuts. Voight looks away, not warning anyone to see his tears.   
  
Leslie Shay never expected to see that. In the last there couple of weeks, she had seen many deaths in the Lindsay family. And she hoped she wouldn't have to see more. But now she knew the Lindsay line was over. Erin was not a Lindsay. She was a Voight. And Voights were strong. They were survivors.

**Chicago PD**

_Erin was with Voight. They were out, grocery shopping. Erin had been with the Voight family for a yeah, and loved it._ _  
_ _  
_ _Erin was in charge of the junk food. She grabbed the cookies she knew everyone would enjoy. When she got back, she found Hank talking to someone, a lady._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Who is this?" The lady asked, when Erin placed the cookies in the cart. The lady smiled at her._ _  
_ _  
_ _"The newest member in our family," he said, but was cut off by Erin._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Gee, thanks for making feel special. That sounded like you adopted a pet," she said, a teasing smile on her face._ _  
_ _  
_ _Voight laughed and shook his head._ _  
_ _  
_ _"Erin, this is Meredith Olinsky, a family friend."_ _  
_ _  
_ _Erin smiled and shook the woman's hand._ _  
_ _  
_ _"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Olinsky. I'm Erin," she started. She looked at Hank, and saw a smile on his face. "Erin Voight."_ _  
_ _  
_ _"I hope Hank is treating you well,_ Erin Voigh _t'"_ _  
_ _  
_ _Erin grinned. "_ Dad is great," she said, feeling like a Voight for the first time ever.


	27. So Maybe Tomorrow I’ll Find My Way Back Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Maybe Tomorrow by Stereophonics

 

“There is nothing wrong,” Gabby Dawson told Voight, as she moved away from Erin. She then told him that Erin needed to sleep it off. And she needed to eat food, because she hadn’t eaten since Ethan’s death. Or she ate very little.

Voight nodded. He grabbed the gun and told Antonio Dawson to put it in his car. He didn’t trust Erin with it., not after what happened.

Shay and Gabby left, after telling Voight what to watch out for. They gave him their phone numbers in case he needed them.

Soon, it was just Erin and Voight in the apartment.

“I can’t lose you kid. I’ll make sure of it,” Voight whispered, as he kept her close. He stroked her hair. “We’ll get you help.”

He looked at her when he heard her sigh.

“I’ll take care of you, like I always do,” Voight whispered.

_ Erin shook her head. “I-I need it. Please you to get some for me.” _

_ “I can’t do this for you.” _

_ “Pl-please Hank.” _

_ Voight stared down at her. Erin’s eyes were bloodshot. Her hair was a mess. She skin was pale. She was shaking, as she begged Voight. She begged him for drugs. _

_ “How are you going to get better if you don’t try? The rule of three Erin, if you can deal with this for three days, it will be okay.” _

_ “I can’t do this for three days!” _

_ “Try. Please Erin, try.” _

_ “It hurts,” Erin cried, “it hurts so much.” _

_ Voight wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll take care of you Erin. I promise you.” _

“I keep my promises,” Voight whispered, as he held his daughter’s hand.

**Chicago PD**

“Hey Sydney,” Erin said, as she sat on a couch. She looked up at the woman in front of her.

“Erin, how are you?” Sydney asked, as she sat back. Sydney Michaels was in her late forties, early fifties. She was a therapist.

“I’m here, doesn’t that mean anything?” Erin asked, not looking at her.

“What happened?”

Erin sighed, as she rubbed her face. “Colton. He started everything.”

Sydney looked at her, surprised. “Colton Lindsay?”

“He went by Colton Larson.”

“Went?”

Erin nodded. “He’s dead.”

“How did that happened?” Erin didn’t answer. “You know how this works. You can’t get better if you don’t talk.”

“He kidnapped me; him and his wife. Th-they tortured me. It took three days, or a week, I don’t know, but it took my team a while to find me.”

“And your team killed him? Voight?” Sydney asked, as she leaned forward.

Erin shook her head. She looked at her therapist. “No, he didn’t kill him. My team didn’t. I did.”

_ They walked out of the room, and headed outside, but froze when they saw Colton aiming his gun at Voight, who didn’t have a gun for an unknown reason. Dawson pulled out his gun and aimed it at Colton. Erin tried to move from Halstead’s hold, trying to stop her biological father from hurting her adopted father. Halstead was busy trying to keep Erin up, that he didn’t see her grab something from his side. _

_ “Let me try to talk to him, please,” Erin begged, her pain-filled eyes connected with Halstead’s. _

_ He nodded and let her stand next to him, but made sure he was carrying most of her weight. _

_ “Daddy, don’t do this,” she begged the man who kidnapped her. _

_ “I have to. You can’t have him as you father. That title belongs to me. The only way I can take it back is if he’s dead,” Colton answered, looking at his daughter. He glared at the man holding her, but didn’t move his gun from Voight. _

_ “Please,” Erin tried on last time. Colton shook his head, and gripped the gun tighter. She had to act fast. She saw his finger twitch against the trigger. _

_ Bang! _

_ They stared in shock, as the body fell to the ground. Blood was dripping from his head, and a feminine scream could be heard. _

_ Erin dropped the gun; that she had taken from Halstead’s hoister. She had pulled the trigger. She was reason there was a bullet in Colton’s head. _

Sydney’s eyes widened. “Erin.”

“Colton was going to kill him. He was going to kill Hank, and I couldn’t let that happen. I-I had to choose. I chose Hank.”

“And that’s why you are here? You killed your father?”

Erin shook her head. “My mom died. She’s dead.”

Sydney’s heart broke as she watched Erin try to not break down. She reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” Erin whispered. “I was talking to her again. After thirteen years, she wanted to be in my life again. I was going to visit her when-when she—“

_ “Sweetie. I’m so proud of you,” her mother said, weakly. _

_ “You’re going to be okay. You’re gonna be okay,” Erin whispered, as she put pressure on her wound. _

_ “You are a beautiful woman. I was proud to be your mother,” Caroline whispered, her body feeling cold. _

_ “Don’t give up,” Erin sobbed, as she looked at Halstead. “Where is the help?!” _

_ “Erin, I love you,” her mother uttered, trying to breath. _

_ “Come on mom, you can do this. You’re going to live. Don’t leave me. Please mommy, don’t leave me. I love you, stay with me, please,” she begged, as she slammed her palm on the floor. _

_ Her mother didn’t respond. She didn’t blink. She was gone. _

“She died, in my arms.”

“Erin, she was proud of you.”

Erin laughed darkly. “That’s not even the worse part. Her killer? My half-brother.”

Sydney wondered how Erin was there, in front of her. How she was still breathing after all the bad that had happened. “You have a brother?”

Erin nodded slowly. “He killed my mom, because his father was dead. I killed him too.”

_ “Ethan,” Erin whispered, as she frowned. Her tears slowly clouded her eyesight. Ethan shook his head. _

_ Erin closed her eyes when she heard a gun go off. _

_ Erin watched as her half-brother fall down. She let her arms down. She felt numb. Her mind went to a few months before. She remembered watching her father fall down the same way. _

“And that is why you are here. You lost your family.”

“Yeah. Voight found me again,” Erin told her with a smile on her face. “With a gun to my head.”

“You’re still here. Your a fighter Erin,” the therapist said.

Erin shrugged. “I  _ hated _ Voight for saving me when I was younger.”

“You did? Why?”

“Why not? I hated my life. I wanted to die. I didn’t want to live, and he took that choice from me.”

_ “Why did you save me?” Fifteen-year-old Erin shouted, as she glared at the man who took her in. It was past midnight, and Erin had spent the night out. Voight was waiting for her. _

_ “Because you deserve to live. To see what life has to offer,” Voight told her, calmly. _

_ “I’ve seen it. Life sucks! It screws you over and then you die! I just sped up the process!” _

_ “You’re fifteen, you’re a child. You haven’t lived. You aren’t old enough to make  _ these _ types of decisions,” Voight whispered, as he took a step towards her. _

_ Erin shook her head. “You don’t  _ know _ anything!” Tears were streaming down her face. _

_ “Erin,” he whispered, but his attention wasn’t mostly on Erin. It was behind her. “Justin.” _

_ Erin turned around and looked at the boy she saw as a brother, and his mother. “Justin.” _

_ “You want to leave us? Erin, you’re my sister. You can’t leave us,” he whispered, as he looked at his role model. _

_ “Justin, you don’t understand.” _

_ “No Erin,  _ you _ don’t understand. If you leave, you’ll leave me. You can’t leave me Erin. You just can’t.” _

_ Erin wiped her tears. “I’m sorry Justin.” _

_ Justin just shook his head. He ran into her arms and hugged her. _

_ Voight looked over at his wife and smiled softly. They joined in the hug. _

“But then you didn’t.”

“But then I didn’t. I was grateful that he saved my life,” Erin muttered, as she stared at the floor.

“And now?”

“Now? I wish he didn’t save me.”

“Why?”

“Then I wouldn’t be here. Then my mom, Colton, Ethan would all be alive. I-I wouldn’t feel this. I wouldn’t want to die every second of the last two days.”

“Erin, Hank saved you. He chose to protect you.”

“I just want my pain to end. I’m  _ tired _ of feeling like this; I’m tired of hearing his voice telling me what to do. I’m tired of fighting.

“Then fight for the people who care about you. Fight for Hank, Justin, your team. Fight for the lives your mothers couldn’t have, fight for Caroline and Camille.”

Erin looked at her.

“Our time is almost over. Look, I want you to have this notebook, and write down a pros and cons list on living. Make sure to include everyone who loves you.”

Erin looked at the composition notebook. Nodding slowly, she looked through it.

“I’ll see you in two days,” Sydney said, as she stood up.

Erin nodded and shook the lady’s hand.

**Chicago PD**

Erin stared at her hamburger. She had taken a few bites, but she wasn’t hungry.

“How was the session?” Voight asked, as he watched her.

“It was okay.”

Voight chuckled. Erin looked up at him, confused.

“We’ve been in the same exact position thirteen years ago,” Voight told her, a smile on his face.

Erin smiled for the first time, as she remembered. They had been in the same place, same seats, same orders, and even had the same conversation.

“How are you feeling?”

Erin tilted her head, as she thought about the answer. “I think I’ll be okay.”

Voight nodded, a proud look on his face.

“I love you, you know that kid?”

Erin looked down. She blinked away the tears that were appearing in her eyes. “I love you too,  _ dad _ .”

Hank reached over and grabbed her hand. “I’m proud of you. I don’t regret meeting you and saving you.

Erin smiled, as she locked her hand with his. “Me too.”

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin was sitting on the chair. She was staring at the wall. Her heart was beating quickly. Her hands were clammy. Her wrist was itchy, but the gauze kept her from scratching it.  _

_ “It’s going to be fine kid,” Voight told her as he kept his arm around her. _

_ Erin looked at him, nervous. _

_ “I-I don’t want to do this,” Erin told him, as she tried to stand up. _

_ “Erin, it’s going to be okay. It’s for your own good.” _

_ Erin shook her head. “I’m fine. I won’t try it again, I promise. Just don’t make me go in there.” _

_ “Erin, just try it. If you don’t like it, we won’t have to do it again.” _

_ “Can you go in with me?” _

_ “Only if you want me too,” he told her. _

_ Erin nodded. She looked up when the secretary called her name. _

_ Voight stood up and led Erin to the room. He made Erin sit and sat down next to her. He held her hand. _

_ “I hope you don’t mind me crashing,” Voight said, as politely as he could, to the other woman. _

_ “Not at all. Anything to make my clients comfortable.” _

_ “I’m Hank, Hank Voight. And this is my…daughter Erin Lindsay.” _

_ “Hello Hank, Erin. I’m Doctor Michaels. But you may call me Sydney.” _

 


	28. Let Nothing Stand In Your Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback

 

“How have you been?”

“Good, I’m getting better.”

“I’m glad. I didn’t like you sad,” Halstead told her, as he handed her a coffee.

“I know. I’m sorry about what I said,” Erin whispered, as she ran her fingers over the top of her cup.

“I’ve told you, it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. You weren’t really you,” Halstead said, as he smiled at her.

“I still feel bad,” Erin told him.

“And I’m over it. You were going through so much. I would have reacted th same if it were me.”

Erin nodded. She looked at the scars on her wrist.

“They just show how strong you are,” Halstead told her, reaching over and holding her hand. “You’re the strongest woman I know.”

Erin’s cheeks had a tint of pink. She smiled at their linked hands

They released their hands when someone cleared their throat. Halstead’s eyes widened as Erin grinned.

“Hey daddio,” Erin told Voight, smiling at him.

Voight nodded, while glaring at Halstead. The young detective stood up and told the other two that he had to get back to work.

Erin giggled. “Must you do that?”

Voight smiled. “He makes it so easy.”

Erin shook her head and stood up. “Can I sue your office? I need to talk to Antonio.”

Voight nodded. “I need to do some things. Make sure you use it only for talking.”

Erin’s eyes widened as she blushed. “Hank!”

Hank laughed as he walked away.

Erin sat back down and sighed. She closed her eyes and let her mind wonder.

**Chicago PD**

_ “Forgiveness.” _ _   
_

_ “What?” Erin asked, as she stared at the woman in confusion. _

_ “You keep everything in. Your mother’s death hit you hard because you never got to fully forgive her. You feel guilty about Colton and Ethan’s deaths because you have to live with what  _ they _ did. They don’t have to get to ask for forgiveness. They don’t have to deal with what they did to you,” Sydney explained, _

_ Erin sighed as she rubbed her face. “If I forgive them, I’ll feel better?” _

_ “That’s not what I’m saying,” Sydney said. She looked at the woman she had seen grow into a strong, smart woman. “What I’m saying that you have to start letting go. Don’t keep it in. Talk to people, Hank Antonio, Jay, Laura. They are your friends.” _

_ The detective nodded. “I’ll start talking.” _

_ “That’s your homework for the week. Talk to them and write down how you felt after.” _

_ Erin smiled softly. _

**Chicago PD**

“You wanted to talk to me, boss?” Dawson asked, a grin on his face.

Erin shook her head. She was on Voight’s chair. “I know all about it, Mr. Dawson.”

Dawson’s eyes widened. “Oh shit.”

Erin couldn’t keep a straight face. She started laughing, causing Dawson to laugh as well.

Once they stopped, they got serious.

“I missed seeing you around,” Dawson told her, moving to sit on the chair in front of her.

“Especially after the last time you saw me,” Erin commented.

Dawson didn’t respond. He just stared at the flood.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” she whispered

“I’m not. I just imagine,  _ think _ about the other possibility. What if I wasn’t there? What if I was too late?”

“Antonio,” Erin whispered.

“Let me get this out, okay?”  Dawson asked her, his eyes filled with tears ready to fall. He continued when Erin nodded. “I cried. That day, I got home and cried. You were like a younger sister, one that I felt like I had to protect. I protect Gabby too, but you’re different. You’re breakable.”

Erin wiped her tears.

“Laura found me crying. She thought someone died, she didn’t know how right she almost was. I told her, and she cried with me. Erin, if you  _ died _ , it would have just affected Voight, but this whole team, my family. Eva, she looks up to you. You have to know how much you mean to people.”

Erin was crying when Dawson finished. He stood up and walked to her, hugging her close. He let his tears fall. “If you ever feel like that again, talk to someone. My wife is ready to listen. She wants you to call her if you need someone to talk.”

“Thank you,” Erin whispered into Dawson’s leather jacket, “thank you both.”

“You’re an honorary Dawson. Help from us is a given,” Dawson whispered back, a smile on his face.

Erin sighed, as she held on to him.

**Chicago PD**

_ A few nights after she tried to use the gun on herself there was a knock on the front door. She was staying at Voight’s place. He didn’t want to leave her alone. She opened it, not sure who was knocking. The team was working a case, and she didn’t really talk to other people. _

_ Alvin Olinsky stood there, staring at Erin as if she was going to disappear. _

_ “Al? Come in,” She told him, surprised to see him there. _

_ Olinsky shook his head. “I won’t be long. I just wanted to come around to make sure you were okay.” _

_ Erin smiled. “I’m good, thank you. I’m actually getting better.” _

_ “That’s good. Look Erin, if you need anyone to talk to, call me. I don’t want you to think you’re alone,” Olinsky told her. _

_ Erin nodded. She moved to him and wrapped him into a hug. Olinsky returned the hug, holding her close for a minute before letting go. _

_ “I’m proud of you, Erin. Never forget that,” he told her before leaving. _

_ “I won’t.” _

**Chicago PD**

Ruzek was getting coffee ready when Erin entered. He smiled at her before turning his attention to his coffee.

“I used to go to therapy when I was younger,” Erin said.

Ruzek turned his attention to Erin, when he heard her. He waited for her to continue.

“It was after I moved into Voight’s home. I-I tried to kill myself, and Voight got me help. It worked,” Erin whispered.

Ruzek nodded. “And then I told you about therapy, but you already knew.”

“Yeah. You were right to tell me that. I shouldn’t have been a bitch. I just thought I should suffer because I killed my father.”

Ruzek walked to her. “But you’re in therapy now?”

“I’m getting better. I’m getting help.”

“That’s good.”

Erin nodded. “I just wanted you tell you sorry about being a total bitch last time.”

“It’s okay. As long as you’re getting better, it’s okay.”

**Chicago PD**

_ “How is everything going?” Voight asked. _

_ “It’s good. My grades are good, therapy is going great. For the first time in a long time, I’m happy,” Erin told him, smiling. _

_ “That’s all I want to hear,” Voight whispered. _

_ “I never thanked you for saving me. If it weren’t for you, I would have died in that bathtub. I wonder how long it would take for my mom to notice that I was dead.” _

_ “Things happen for a reason. You have a great future,” Voight told her. _

_ Erin smiled. “And its because of you.” _

 


	29. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes a Fighter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger) by Kelly Clarkson

 

Erin smiled, as she stared at her badge. Voight had returned it to her. She had passed her evaluation and tests. Voight thought she was ready, and she was going to show him that she was.

She clipped her badge on her pants and sighed. She missed the badge. She missed working. She missed feeling like she was finally whole.

**Chicago PD**

“This is our last meeting,” Sydney said, as she grinned at Erin.

Erin nodded. “I’m not going to miss this.” She then looked up at Sydney with wide eyes. “I don’t mean I don’t like hanging out with you, or I don’t like you.”

Sydney chuckled. “I know what you mean.”

Erin gave her a small smile.

“Has anything happened?”

“I can go back to work,” Erin told her therapist.

Sydney nodded. “Have you had a case yet?”

Erin nodded.

“How did it go?”

Erin smiled. “Great. I did good.”

Erin then told her, about the first case. About how she didn’t panic when she saw someone holding a gun to her or her friends, her family. How she hadn’t had PTSD and had flashbacks or fired her gun.

“I know everyone is proud of you. I’m proud of you,” Sydney told him.

Erin grinned. “I feel so much better. I think I can move on with my life. My mom is dead, but she would want me to live my life. And I can’t let Colton and Ethan control my life.”

Sydney stood up. “Great to hear. I’m proud of you. If you need to talk, you call me okay?”

Thank you Sydney, for all the help.”

Sydney nodded and smiled. “I hope I don’t see you here.”

Erin let out a laugh as she walked out to the room.

**Chicago PD**

“How was it?” Voight asked, as he placed Erin’s drink in front of him.

Erin looked up at him. “It went great. I don’t need help anymore. I’m over this now.”

Voight nodded. “Your mom would be proud.”

“Both of them would be. I was lucky, I had two mothers and one dad.”

“Lets do something,” Voight suggested. “The family.”

Erin nodded. 

**Chicago PD**

Voight watched her. He had taken the team out to a bar. Ruzek and Olinsky were off talking. Erin was playing pool with Burgess and Atwater, the two uniforms Erin wanted to come. Voight, Halstead, and Dawson were sitting at the table, drinking.

“We can finally put this behind us,” Dawson commented, as he took a sip from his beer.

Halstead and Voight nodded.

“She doesn’t have any nightmares,” Voight told them. He knew that the two men cared for Erin, in different levels, but they cared. They had been worried those days after the suicide attempt.

Dawson smiled. “I knew she would make it.”

Halstead shot him a look. “She’s the toughest detective in this unit, how can she not? She just got lost. She found her way back.”

Voight stared at the young detective. He could hear the admiration in his voice. He could see the emotion in his eyes as Halstead stared at Erin. Voight caught Dawson’s eye. Dawson raised an eyebrow, as if asking Voight what was he going to do about what he saw.

Voight didn’t know. He just turned his attention to his daughter, watching her beat Atwater and Burgess.

Erin turned and looked at the three men. She grinned as she rushed to them.

“Lets play. You and Jay versus me and Voight.” She told the men, as she pulled Voight towards the pool table.

“We’ve got this, you’ve got nothing on the Voight family,” Voight whispered, as they huddled on one side of the table.

“It’s you and me dad, of course they can’t beat us,” Erin whispered back. Voight wrapped his arm around her and they turned to the men.

Erin and Voight won, not that they doubted it.

Voight pulled her away, and told her he wanted to give her something. Once they were alone, Voight pulled out a box. Erin grabbed it and took it. She opened it, and smiled as she stared at the necklace.

“It was Camille’s. Before she passed away, she gave it to me. She told me to give it to  _ our  _ daughter when the time was right. And the time is right.”

Erin touched the necklace, with tears on her eyes. It was a gold necklace with the word  _ Voight _ in a heart.

“I love it,” Erin whispered, as she picked up her necklace. Voight took it and helped her put it on.

“You remind me of Camille. And after everything you’ve been through, she would want you to wear this. She’d want you to know you’re a part of this family.”

Once Voight finished clipping it, she turned and hugged Voight. Voight hugged her back.

**Chicago PD**

_ Voight watched with a smile. Next to him were Justin and Camille. They were all watching and waiting. He saw her and waved. She waved back. _

_ “Erin Lindsay,” the principle called, as Erin walked across the stage and shook her principle’s hand. _

_ Justin shot up and cheered, followed by Voight and Camille. Erin grinned and waved her diploma at them. Voight took pictures. _

_ The graduation was over, and the family was taking pictures. _

_ Voight gave her a hug. “I’m so proud of you. You made it.” _

_ Erin grinned, as she hugged him back. “I did. Thank you.” _

_ “You beat the odds. You got out, you changed you life. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter,” Voight told her. _

_ “I’m happy I got to be your daughter.” _

_ Voight looked up and saw Camille rub her eyes. He smiled at her, and let Erin go. She turned and looked at the woman who took her in. _

_ “I’m proud of you too Erin. I’m so happy Voight brought you home.” _

_ “Congrats Sis,” Justin said, as gave her a smile. Erin rolled her eyes and pulled him into a hug. Voight and Camille smiled as they joined in on the hug. _

_ They all looked to the same direction when they heard a camera shutter. Alvin Olinsky smiled at the picture he had taken. _

_ “It’s perfect. The Voight family.” _

 


	30. I’m Not Running From You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars

 

Erin sat on the ground. She stared at the stone in front of her. She took a deep breath as she ran her finger over the petals of the bouquet she had.

“This is a little weird for me,” Erin whispered. “The- uh – the last time you saw me, i was losing it.” Erin smiled. “I’m better now. I’m happy. I’m finally happy. I’m living my life, making you proud. I’m sorry I lost my way a second, but you can’t blame me. I had a lot going on.

“Colton’s son was killed. I wish it were different. I wish I didn’t have to kill him. But if its between Voight,  _ Hank _ and Ethan, I’ll choose Hank every time. He’s my real family. He was around for everything. He’s the perfect father. He does have his faults, but that’s what makes him great.

“I want to thank you. If you didn’t let Hank take me, I don’t know where I’ll be. It’s because of him I got my second chance. I was able to finish high school. He’s the reason I made it into Intelligence. He’s pretty much the reason I’m still alive. He found me as a kid, and he made sure I didn’t blow my brains out.

“And because you let him take me, I came out better. You let him, and it was the best decision ever. I love you mom, and I wanted you to know that.”

Erin placed the flowers in front of the stone. In it were the words:

_ Here lies  
_ _ Caroline Lindsay  
_ __ Beloved mother and friend

With the years of her birth and death.

“I‘ll visit again. I promise, I’ll be back.” Erin stood up and stared at the grave. She looked over and Camille Voight’s grave wasn’t too far. Erin smiled. Bother her mothers were near each other. She turned and walked away.

**Chicago PD**

“He won’t find us here?” Halstead asked, looking around.

Erin laughed. She shook her head. “He’s visiting someone.”

Halstead nodded. “How’s life?”

Erin chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve spend too much time away.”

“You didn’t. I’m just being polite. But you moved back? How is that?”

“I was scared for a second, but I was becoming too dependent to other people. I had to move away, you know?”

Halstead nodded. “You need to stand on your own feet.”

“Exactly.”

“Who is Voight visiting?”

Erin shook her head. “I can’t tell you. You’ll have to ask him.”

“But he doesn’t like me,” he whined.

“You big baby.”

It’s good to have you back as my partner. No one covers my back like you do.”

She smiled. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Halstead smiled at her. She blushed and looked away.

“I’m grateful for Voight.”

Erin frowned. “Why?”

“If it weren’t for him, you would have died in that bathtub.”

Erin frowned as she looked away. As an adult, she regretted doing that.

“You’re the perfect partner. No one would have been half as strong as you are.”

Erin looked at him and smiled. “Thank you.”

Halstead shrugged and pulled her for a hug.

**Chicago PD**

Voight walked down the pathway. He fixed his shirt, to make sure it was perfect. He stopped in front of Camille’s grave. He placed his flowers down and stayed crouched down.

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited in some time. Things have just gotten crazy. But you should know our children are doing well. They lost their ways, but both are getting back to the right track. Erin and Justin miss you. I do too. And we love you. Meeting you, having Justin with you, and raising Erin, they were the best times of my life.

“I wish you were with me. I wish you were here to tell them how proud you are. What great adults they are becoming. But I know where ever you are, your watching over us, protecting us,” Voight whispered.

Voight looked up when he felt someone tap his shoulder. He stood up and wrapped his arm wound Erin’s shoulder.

“I was visiting mom earlier. I was going to visit Camille, but I wanted to do it with you. And, I brought a guest,” Erin told him, grinning up at him. She made him turn around.

Behind them was Justin. He smiled at his father. “Hey dad.”

Voight smiled and walked to him. Once he was close enough, he wrapped his son in a hug.

“I missed you,” Voight whispered, after he pulled away.

“I missed you too. All of you,” Justin told his father and Erin. He walked to the tombstone. “See mom, we’re still a family. Nothing is going to change that.”

Erin walked to Justin and she wrapped on arm around his waste and the other hand touched the necklace. Voight joined the hug on Justin’s other side.

“We’re still a family,” he whispered.

**Chicago PD**

Erin arrived home. She was looking through her mail. She frowned when she was one of them was from a prison. She placed all of the letters on the counter. She sat down on a chair and opened the letter.

She paled as she read through it.

Once she was done, she placed the letter down and rubbed her face. Erin’s body started to tremble. She got her phone and dialed the first number she could think of.

“Hello? Erin?” the person on the other side questioned.

“H-hi, I uh, I got a letter. S-Sarah wanted to see me, and I don’t know what to do.”

**Chicago PD**

_ Sarah looked at the notes. She was looking through Colton’s papers, trying to find coupons for pizza for Ethan’s seventh birthday party. _

_ The notes had a bunch of information about someone named ‘Erin Lindsay.’ _

_ Sarah was mad. She was beyond mad. She knew Colton was capable to cheating. Then she remembered Colton’s daughter, Erin Lindsay. Curiously, she looked through the papers. The more she read, the more confused she became. The notes explained how to kidnap his daughter. _

_ Colton found her. He tried to come up with an excuse. _

_ “I’m not stupid. I know what this is,” Sarah told him. _

_ “Colton opened his mouth, but nothing came out. _

_ “It’s okay,” Sarah told him. “If a  _ bitch _ took my child, I would do anything to get them back.” _

_ Colton smiled, as he walked to her. “I love you so much.” _

_ Sarah smiled back. “I love you too.” She pulled him for a kiss. “And there is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you happy.” _

 


	31. You Shoot Me Down But I Get Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: Titanium by David Guetta Ft. Sia

 

Erin rubbed her face. She had just gotten off the phone with Sydney. She didn’t know if she was strong enough to talk to Sarah. She thought about her conversation.

_ “ _ Hello? Erin? _ ” the person on the other side questioned. _

_ “H-hi, I uh, I got a letter. S-Sarah wanted to see me, and I don’t know what to do.” _

_ “ _ Erin, _ ” the voice whispered, trying to calm her down. _

_ Erin shook her head. She had many thoughts in her head. “Wh-why does she want to talk to me? I-I just got better. I just got  _ over _ this.” _

_“_ Erin, stop, _”_ _Sydney whispered._

_ “I-I don’t think I can do it,” Erin whispered. _

_ “ _ Erin, you said it yourself. You got better. You can do this. You’re stronger than before, _ ” Sydney told her. _

_ “Wh-what should I do?” Erin whispered, as she looked at the letter. _

_ “ _ What you think you should do. Talk to your father. Get support. _ ” _

_ Erin nodded. She talked to Sydney for a few more seconds before hanging up. _

Erin sighed as she got her phone. She texted Voight, telling him that she needed to talk to him. He told her he would meet her at their spot.

**Chicago PD**

Voight was worried. Erin had just gotten home from the bar. He knew how she texted. He knew that the text message she sent him meant something was wrong.

He stood up when he saw her enter. Erin gave him a small smile and she gave him a letter. Frowning, he opened it and read it.

“She wants to see you?” Voight asked, as he finished the letter. He placed it down and looked at Erin.

Erin nodded. “Yeah. She does.”

“Are you going to?”

“I don’t know what to do,” Erin whispered.

“I think you should,” Voight told her.

“Why?” Erin asked, confused. She grabbed the letter and looked through it again.

“Don’t you want closure? This is the last step. The last person,” Voight whispered, as he reached over and grabbed her hand.

“Wh-what if I relapse?”

“You won’t, Erin. And you do, I’m here, Jay and Antonio are here. Sydney, Adam, and Al. We’re all here to pick you up if you fall down,” Voight whispered.

Erin gave him a small smile. She nodded. “I’m going to see her.”

**Chicago PD**

Erin looked at the window in front of her. There was no one on the other side. She took a deep breath when she noticed the guards. They led Sarah to the chair in front of her. Erin reached for the phone and took another deep breath as she placed it against her ear.

The first thing Sarah said was, “I heard about your mother. I would say I’m sorry, but I’m not. Not after what  _ you _ did.”

Erin didn’t respond. She just stared at her.

“I guess you shouldn’t have killed your father. Now you have no one,” she continued.

“I have no one? I have Voight, I have Justin, I have my team. I have people, you don’t have anyone,” Erin snapped, as she glared at her.

“I do have people, I have my son!”

“Your son, Ethan? He did the same thing Colton did. He kidnapped me and tried to kill Voight,” Erin whispered, as she stared at the woman in front of her.

  
“I hope he succeeded,” Sarah scoffed, as she looked at Erin with no interest.   
  
Erin shook her head. “No. He ended the same way Colton did.”   
  
“You bitch! Fuck you! You killed your brother! Why would you do that?” Sarah exclaimed as she sat up, slamming her fists on the table. “I guess it’s who you are. You kill your family. It’s what you do.”   
  
“He killed my mother. You think I kill my family? I don’t. And you know what? You don't deserve an explanation. I came here to talk to you. I wanted to tell you that you lost. You are in here and I'm out there. You're paying for what you did. You think you beat me? You think you get me? You did isn't. I came out stronger. I came out on top! I'm not the one in prison. And you think Colton and Ethan are my father and brother? They are not and they never will. Hank and Justin are my family.”   
  
“When I get out, you'll pay,” Sarah threatened, as she glared at her step-daughter.   
  
“And you think I'm going to let that brother me? That I'm going to spend my life worrying? I'm not. I'm going to live my life. You won't have as ah on how I live it. You’re going to get out and get revenge? I want you to try. Get through my unit, my family. Try it.”   
  


Sarah didn’t answer. She just sat there, glaring at her.

Erin stood up and looked at the woman in front of her. “Goodbye Sarah. Have a great time in prison.” Erin gave her a smile. She placed her phone down and walked away. She felt free. She finally felt like she could breath and live her life with nothing holding her life.

**Chicago PD**

_ Sarah saw him. She saw him with a woman and his daughter. She had been watching him. She walked towards them, acting like she didn’t know him. Like she had never seen him in his life. _

_ She widened her eyes. She looked at the little girl. _

_ “She’s so cute,” she said, as she bent down to be closer to the small girl. _

_ The little girl giggled as she hid behind her mother. “Sorry, she’s a little shy,” her mother told the woman, with a small smile on her face. “Erin, can you say hi to the nice lady.” _

_ “Hi,” Erin whispered, as she grabbed her mother’s pants. The mother smiled at the woman. Erin and her mother walked to an ice cream parlor. _

_ The woman stood up and saw him. She frowned and walked away. She smirked as she walked away. She was going to get to the family, one way or another. _


	32. The Sun Breaks the Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: A New Beginning by Endochine

 

“She wanted to hurt me,” Erin whispered, as she looked at her father.

Voight nodded.

“But I didn’t let her. I knew I had two choices, I could let her have control of my life, or I could have control of my life. She screwed up her life, and I wasn’t going to let her screw mine up as well.”

“You’ve come a long way. If this were weeks ago, I don’t know what would have happened, but I do know one thing, I wouldn’t have told you to go. I knew you would get through it. You’ve made us all proud Erin, you really did,” Voight told her, as he smiled.

Erin grinned, as she nodded. “I know you told me that I saved myself, but you did save me in a way, and even now. I know you can’t make me do things, but it’s because of you I do. You did so much for me, and being the best I can be is the only way I can repay you.”

Voight smiled, as he nodded. “That is all I want.”

Erin stood up. She looked at her watch. “I’m suppose to meet someone in a few. I know the confrontation with Sarah didn’t like, mess with me, but I may need a few days off, you know, to process everything. I don’t want to make a mistake out there, and I got a few sessions with Sydney to make sure I’m one hundred percent and I didn’t suppress anything without knowing.”

Voight smiled again. “Take the rest of the week. We can’t have you screwing up out there, now can we?”

“You’re impossible,” Erin muttered, as she shook her head. She said her final goodbyes and left.

**Chicago PD**

“So you won’t be working for the next few days?”

“I just want to make sure my head is screwed on straight, you know?”

Halstead nodded. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Shaking her head, Erin answered, “No, just being there for me is enough.”

Halstead smiled at her. “Always. You’re my partner. I’ll protect you, in the field, and out of it.”

Erin didn’t know what to say. She blushed and looked down.

“What am I going to do with you gone?”

“You’ll think of something.”

Halstead stared at her. He remembered feeling miserable while she was missing. He remembered the pain in his chest as he thought about her out there, in danger.

“Hey, Erin,” Halstead whispered.

Erin looked at him. She smiled, but her attention was cut off by a text message.

“There is something I want to tell you,” he told her, ready to tell her how he felt.

He watched as Erin smiled at something, before sending out a response. She then looked up and waited for Halstead to say something.

“Who was that?” Halstead asked, curiously, and a little disappointed.

“Antonio, he wants to talk. I told him I would meet him at the station in twenty. What was it you wanted to tell me?”

“You know what, it can wait.”

“Are you sure?” Erin asked, concerned.

Halstead nodded. “It’s not really important. Let’s get you to Dawson.”

Erin smiled and stood up. Halstead followed her out, a sad smile on his face. He wanted to tell her, but he wondered if he’ll ever get the guts too.

**Chicago PD**

Erin smiled when she saw Dawson waiting for her. He was at his desk, looking through some papers.

“What do you want?” Erin asked, a teasing smile on her face.

“Dinner, tomorrow night. Laura and Eva want you to come over.”

“And you couldn’t tell me over the phone?” Erin asked, as she frowned.

Dawson grinned, as he nodded his head. “I could have told you over the phone, but where is the fun in that?”

Erin rolled her eyes.

“How did you get here so fast? You said twenty, I wasn’t expecting you for another ten.”

Erin shrugged. “I was out with Jay. We were talking, and he wanted to tell me something.”

“He finally told you?” Dawson asked in surprise.

“No, do you know what he wanted to tell me?”

Dawson put his hands up. “I can’t tell you. It’s not my secret to tell.”

“You have to now. You can’t just tell me he has something to say and then keep your mouth shut,” Erin told him.

Dawson smiled. “You have to ask him, and here is your chance.”

Erin looked at Halstead’s desk and saw him go to the coffee room. She shot Dawson a look and followed her partner.

**Chicago PD**

Halstead watched her. He watched as she laughed, as she whispered something to Dawson. Erin wanted to hang out with Dawson, she wanted to talk to him. Halstead knew that Dawson and Erin had a special relationship, just like Erin and Voight had a special relationship. Halstead felt jealous that he couldn’t have a special relationship with Erin. But she was his best friend. She was also the subject of his affection.

He closed his eyes, as he thought of what was going through his head. There was something he wanted to do, something he always wanted to do. He stood up and walked to the coffee room. He could feel someone walking behind him. He turned and smiled when he noticed it was Erin that was behind him.

“Want coffee?” he asked, as he held up the pitcher.

Erin nodded.

Halstead got the coffee ready but didn’t hand it to her. He stood in front of her for a second. He placed the cup on the counter.

“Promise you won’t be mad?”

Confused, Erin asked, “Mad about what? The coffee is that bad?”

“Just promise me,” Halstead told her.

“Okay, I promise, but why—“

She was cut off by Halstead’s lips. She struggled for a second, but then she stopped and kissed him back. Halstead pulled away and smiled.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“Shut up,” Erin told him, as she pulled him for another kiss.

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin watched the bottle spin and spin and spin. She looked at the guys around, and blushed when she made eye contact with one in particular. She looked down, and watched the bottle slow down. _

_ Her eyes widened when she saw the bottle stop, the head pointing to the guy she was hoping it would stop in. She could hear her friends laugh, telling her that she had to kiss him. _

_ The group didn’t know that it was her first kiss. She was twelve years old, and hadn’t gotten kissed. She took a deep breath, before crawling to the middle of the circle. She was face to face with the boy, she could feel his breath on her face. _

_ Erin licked her lips. She leaned forward. She felt his lips touched hers. And just like that, Erin had her first kiss. _


	33. Cause Nobody Understands Just What It Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title: What It Is by Kodaline

 

Voight watched as she talked. She was telling him about what happened with Halstead. He smiled. He knew she had another choice, to keep it a secret, but she didn't want secrets between them.   
  
"Do you have any feeling for him?" Voight asked, smiling.   
  
Erin looked at, a confused look on her face. "I don't know."   
  
"I don't condone in team relationships, but I have eyes. I see how that boy looks at you. He's so into you, he'd do anything to keep you safe. Those weeks you weren't with with us, I was his temporary partner. He'd always ask about you, wanting you to be safe," Voight told her.   
  
"So you're telling me to start a relationship with him?"   
  
"No. I'm telling you this won't be a game for him. And follow your heart. If you want to start something with him, so it. If not, don't. Think about your emotions first, before all. Are you ready for this?"   
  
Erin thought about it. She wouldn't lie and say she didn't have feeling for him. She did. But was she ready?   
  
"So we have your permission?"   
  
"I may not like it, but if he makes you happy, I'm all for it."   
  
Erin smiled and nodded. She stood up. "I guess I got some thinking to do."   
  
"I guess you do," Voight responded. He watched her leave his office. He had a small smile on his face. It grew when he realized what he was able to do now.

**Chicago PD**

Voight watched as Halstead drove the car. He knew the younger man was nervous. Halstead probably didn’t know that Erin told him that Halstead kissed her. Voight was waiting a while, letting the Detective sweat it out.

“I heard what happened,” Voight said, looking out the window. He felt Halstead’s eyes on him.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he commented.

“Hurt her, you’ll wish you were dead,” Voight said, casually, as if he were commenting on the weather.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he repeated, looking straight ahead.

“You don’t think she told me? Erin is my daughter, and I’ll be damned if I let her get hurt.”

“I wouldn’t hurt her, ever,” Halstead said.

Voight watched him. He nodded and looked away. “Remember that. If Erin is hurt in any way,  _ you _ will be at the bottom of the ocean.”

Halstead looked at him, a little frightened. He nodded.

Voight smiled. “Good that we have an understanding. Now go right on the next light. I’m a little hungry.”

**Chicago PD**

“I heard Voight gave you the okay to date his daughter,” Dawson commented when he saw Halstead. He had a smile on his face.

“More like threatened me,” Halstead commented.

“You got the father speech?”

Halstead nodded. “Hurt her, I die.”

“But you haven’t gotten the big brother speech?”

“Justin? No I don’t speak with him,” Halstead commented, frowning.

“No, Justin is Erin’s younger brother. And I think I should tell you Erin is like my  _ little sister _ ,” Dawson told him.

Halstead groaned and sat down.

“You should know this. Erin is a special girl. Voight is not the only person you have to go through. There is me, there is Alvin, and Justin. But Alvin isn’t going to threaten you. But he  _ will _ hurt you if you hurt Erin, just like I will.”

Halstead nodded.

“Don’t forget, this girl comes with us.”

“I’m in love with her. I would never hurt her. If I hurt her, I’ll hurt myself.”

“She’s a tough woman, but she can break. These last few days showed us that. And I want you to make sure you are one hundred percent sure about your feelings.”

“I am. I have never been so sure about anything before. You were right when you said she was special, because she is. She’s so special.”

Dawson nodded and smiled. “Then tell her. Let her know.”

“I will. I was going to, but you messed that chance up. But I’m going to her house after the shift, and talk to her.”

“Good,” Dawson whispered, as he turned and walked away.

**Chicago PD**

Halstead sighed nervously. He raised his hand and knocked on the door. He waited for just a few seconds, before Erin opened the door.

Erin looked at him in shock. “Jay, hi.”

“Hey, can I come in?”

Erin nodded and moved to let him in. She watched him walk in and moved to her living room.

“Can we talk? About yesterday?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Good. So the kiss, I meant it. I’m in love with you Erin. And I have been for a while. You’re my best friend, my partner. You’re funny, sweet, amazing, beautiful. And I was lucky enough to be your partner. And I want to be with you.”

“Jay—“

“No, let my finish,” he interrupted her. He continued when Erin nodded. “When you were kidnapped, I realized my feeling. I felt like a part was missing. I was threatened today by the men in your life that love you. I promised them I wouldn’t hurt you, and I promise you the same thing. I promise to never hurt you. That I’ll always be by your side. I promise to be yours.”

Erin stared at him, not sure what to say. She had a small smile on her face, as she started at him. She walked to him and pulled him to a kiss. “I want to be with you too. I like you Jay, I like you a lot. And I don’t want you to be stuck with me. I come with a lot of problems.”

“And I don’t care. These  _ problems _ make you, you. And it wont push me away.”

Erin smiled and pulled him to another kiss.

“We’ll do this then. You and me,” she whispered.

Halstead smiled at her, and pulled her close. “I’m glad.”

**Chicago PD**

“So you and Halstead?” Voight asked, a smile on his face.

Erin nodded. “Me and Jay.”

“Just make sure this doesn’t interfere with the unit.”

“It won’t. It’ll all be professional.”

Voight smirked. “Yup, professional.”

Erin rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why I put up with you.”

Voight smiled at her. “I’m really proud of you, you know?”

“I’m proud of me too. I got through it, with your help. I lost so many people, I lost my family, but I still have you. If I had lost you, I don’t know what I would have done.”

Voight nodded. “We’re family. You, me, Justin. And we protect each other no matter what.”

“I was a difficult person as a kid, huh?”   


“You have no idea. I don’t know how many times you almost gave me and Camille a heart attack.”

Erin laughed, when she remembered all the trouble she got into. She looked at Voight, her smile softening. “I have to plan mom’s funeral.”

Voight nodded. “Erin, I’m here, your  _ boyfriend _ is here, and your family is here if you need anyone.”

“I know. And I’m really thankful, I know not to go through it alone.”

Voight smiled at her. “Good. I really am proud. You have come a long way, and you’re stronger than ever.”

Erin smiled and gave her father a smile. “Thanks dad.”

**Chicago PD**

_ Erin looked out the window. The clock told her it was eleven fifty-nine. Her sixteenth birthday was a minute away. She sighed, not sure if she wanted her birthday to come. She didn’t tell the Voight family it was going to be her birthday. She didn’t feel like celebrating it. _

_ Erin watched the red numbers change. She frowned, and turned her back to the clock. _

_ She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. She hoped the day would pass quickly. _

_ She woke up hours later. The house was quiet. She turned around and saw that it was ten am. She got out her bed and got ready for the day. _

_ She walked to the kitchen and froze, her eyes wide. In front of her was the Voight family. They were all dressed nicely, and there was a cake on the table. _

_ “How did you guys know?” she asked, shocked. She walked towards the table and saw the words ‘Happy Sweet Sixteen Erin’ on the cake. She smiled. _

_ “I looked it up. Why didn’t you tell us?” _

_ Erin shrugged. “I didn’t think I would stay here long enough.” _

_ Voight and Camille walked to her and took her in their arms. “You are an amazing girl, you just have to see that,” Camille whispered to her. _

_ Erin hugged her back, the smile growing. Justin complained about being replaced, and he crossed his arms over his chest. Erin rolled her eyes and gave him a hug. _

_ Minutes later, after Erin opened her presents (she got clothes and jewelry), the family was sitting around the table. Camille had given everyone a piece of cake. _

_ “How was your first birthday with us?” Justin asked, a smile on his face. _

_ Erin looked at him. “Best birthday ever. But you guys didn’t have to get me anything.” _

_ The three Voight’s frowned. “Why?” _

_ “You’ve given my me the best present already,” she told them, as if it were obvious. _

_ “And what is that Sweetie?” Camille asked, confused. _

_ “You let me live here.” _

_ Justin groaned. “Now my parents are going to get me less things for Christmas because of you. Thanks a lot.” _

_ His parents laughed. Erin just smiled. She looked at him, and at his family. She decided then and there, she was going to stop sabotaging herself. She liked the family, and she wanted to stay with them. She had guardians, she had a brother. There was nothing more she could ask for. _


End file.
